In my view, it is not correct to hide the fact that you are a HIV positive from your near and dear ones. It is true that by telling the truth to the family there may be problems. The family members may panic or hate him/her for what he/she has done. But by telling the truth he/she can save many from becoming the victims of HIV. I would convince and encourage him/her to say the truth to save others’ lives.

— Anushree Shah,

Lalitpur

If I knew that someone is HIV positive and hiding from his/her dear ones, I would definitely convince him/her to tell his/her family. However it depends upon what type of family he/she has. If my news ends up with a suicidal event, then I would keep pretending not knowing about it. Truth is always bitter but ends up in fruitful solution. I think it is correct to tell his/her secret to dear ones because ‘a stitch in time saves nine’. Knowing the truth later can make the relation even worse.

— Awan Krishna Shrestha, Khwopa

Engineering College

“An emblematic Nepali society would never accept HIV patients,” says an infected person. A society like ours always looks down upon the HIV positive. People therefore feel very humiliated to divulge their secret in front of society because they already identify that society would never accept them as they are. This is the explanation for hundreds and thousands of HIV-infected in our country still not revealing their pain. If I were to counsel a person I would not encourage him/her to tell his secret in front of a society that is not sympathetic. If the person feels like he should share his feeling then he should of course share but not with the people who don’t know about the disease and would not understand a HIV person. Therefore I would say, it is not correct to tell people to share their feelings, because they do not want to be consoled and perhaps the patient has enough brains to decide what would be the right thing to do.

— Pranit Sharma, Balaju

In our country, many people have misconceptions regarding HIV. So when someone gets infected with HIV, people show hatred to him/her. And it is obvious that he/she hides the disease from others. But it is not good to do so, therefore I would convince him/her to expose it to the family members. HIV-infection can be suppressed by taking medicines and he/she can live long. If kept hidden, the infection may spread fast and that person might not live long. So, I think its good to tell your near and dear ones about it.

— Mikesh Shrestha

I would definitely convince the person and then help him/her break the news to his/her family. HIV positive people are totally helpless due to their disease and social prejudice. So, they need total family and psychological support. One must know that HIV is not transmitted by casual contact, sharing bathrooms, sharing kitchen and eating in same utensils, sharing personal items like combs and towels, sharing food.

— Manju Gurung

If I were to find out that someone I know is HIV positive then I would not convince or help him to break the news to his family because, he may feel humiliated by talking about to me about the disease. He would also not act the same as before. People’s perception may change and maybe they would react oddly that may bring him into depression. So it will be better for him to hide his secret. But, of course, not from his wife.

— Kalyan Sharma,

Bijuli Bazar

If I find someone I know is HIV positive then I would help him to hide the fact from others. We all are quite familiar with the kind of society we are living in. If all his relatives know about him then they will start looking him with suspicion and start raising stupid questions. His relatives’ behaviour will then make his life miserable and, ultimately, he will be bound to spend his remaining life alone. So, I think it will be good for him to hide the fact rather than exposing it and hence I would pretend that I too didn’t know about it.

— Bharosha KC

We hardly accept any change, so it will be a huge mistake, if someone confesses that s/he is HIV positive. As long as s/he is not contaminating her/his disease to others, I don’t feel s/he has to put himself/herself on this rough road of isolation from society. They are bound to make a mess of it. I will fully support her/him being silent. I would not meddle with her/his secret, as s/he will tell it at the right time.

Till then, let her/him have her/his peace.

— Prabin Shrestha, Chyanam

If a person I know is HIV positive but that person is hiding it from her/his near and dear ones, I would convince her/him to tell her/his family. So that s/he can feel comfortable with her/his family. I would convince her/him by telling that if s/he didn’t tell her/his family then the risk of others getting infected gets higher. I would also convince her/him that by telling the truth, s/he could do better for coming generation by spreading awareness about HIV. It also helps people to live longer by enjoying the real flavour of human life. So I think it is correct to tell her/ his near and dear ones though s/he might prefer staying silent.

— Aastak Mahat

People who are infected by HIV/AIDS need support, but most importantly, they need love. During the period of illness, people may be preoccupied with their own grief and would need the help of their loved ones and support. Counselling also allows them to express grief and repressed feelings. We can encourage them to deal with the reality of the loss and the adjustment to environment. The person can then start adjusting and exploring the circumstances as an independent person.

— Nitu Kedia

People are often risking their life by being ignorant about the safety measures. And they get infected by HIV. So, I would advise HIV positive people not to hide their mistake, but tell their family. We all make mistakes. So, don’t get fed up with life, instead we have to realise the mistake and move on with life. Thus, in my opinion it is correct to tell the loved ones because if one has made a mistake then others will be aware and the number of people being infected with HIV will also decrease.

— Rahul Bajracharya, Lazimpat

It is said that when you share your happiness, it gets doubled and when you share sorrow, it gets reduced. So, with this philosophy, I would try my best to convince my friend suffering from HIV positive to break the news to his family. Hiding it would give more tension and frustration. He can hide the disease but he cannot hide death, which he ultimately has to face. I will convince him, that if he breaks the news to his family members then they will be able to help him fight against the disease, if not cure it. I will convince her/him that the time

they have should be utilised in the best possible way

and s/he should enjoy

every moment of it with family members and friends. I would persuade that s/he should break the news themselves. Doing so may give initial shock to family but they will definitely overcome it. But her/his family will completely break down if they know after her/his death about all the pain and suffering that s/he has gone through.

— Binayak Malla,

Biratnagar 7

I would neither inform his/her relatives nor ask him/her to do so because I think s/he has full right to keep his/her secret and I do not want to violate it. Instead, I would take the person to the rehab and try to encourage him/her to utilise the precious life rather than wasting it in something worthless. It is not compulsory to tell everyone that you are HIV positive, but your secret should not harm anyone. I would never ask or talk about the subject until he would raise it because I wouldn’t want to shame him in anyway.

— Aneesha Bhatarai

If I come to know that someone I know has been infected by HIV, I would never let him/her hide it and wouldn’t keep it a secret from my side too. I think hiding this from his/her nearest, dearest one and family would be like committing a big crime against society. HIV/AIDS is a serious and transferable disease. If a HIV/positive person stays quiet then he/she will slowly die with the pain and the person will also make others vulnerable to the disease. Therefore I will never hide the secret from his\her family. Rather I will help him/her get rid of their silent pain and encourage them to fight against his/her disease and stand up in society as a symbol of strength. And also be a source of inspiration for those people who have been affected by HIV/AIDS and are afraid to talk about their sorrow.

I think it is absolutely correct to tell his/her family to make them aware about HIV/AIDS and to prevent spreading of this dangerous disease, which can cost human lives.

— Dilip Ghatani,

Ekantakuna, Jawalakhel

If I find someone who is HIV positive and his family is unaware of the fact then I will convince both, the infected person and his family. I would convince him by saying this. When you tell the truth you will be relieved in a moment. If you don’t, then you will be burdening yourself until you haven’t admitted it. Your family will be uneasy for some days, but will soon support you. After convincing him, I will go to his family and convince them in following way.

We have to give instructions, information and suggestions to our children. No one lives forever and everyone has to die one day. A HIV positive person can survive for more than a dozen years, if they get a caring and loving family

environment.

— Raju Gnawali, Public Youth Campus

If I come across a friend of mine who is HIV positive then my first question would be how did he contract the disease? I would like to know the cause behind it for my own sense of satisfaction, then I would take him/her for a medical check up to help him/her

to fight disease courageously without any humiliation. I strongly believe that

my friend should disclose this news to his/her family members so that they are also aware of his/her situation and I would convince him/her to do so. I don’t

feel there’s anything wrong in sharing your secrets

with your family members because after all, they are your source of inspiration or, in other words, your biggest strength to fight any problem. I would never pretend that I am not aware about it because I would be

committing a sin towards society. I don’t think

that HIV patients should

be embarrassed about

this and should not be

hiding it. Instead they should sum up the courage to face it and advise others to take precautions.

— Ritika Rathi, Chhauni

If I find someone is suffering from HIV positive and s\he is hiding it from his\her near and dear ones, I would convince him\her to tell about it to his \ her family. If s/he refuses, I would help him\her to tell the truth so that s/he would get the treatment on time.

— Simaran Thapa, Kusunti, Lalitpur

If I find out that someone I know is HIV positive and is hiding it from his/her near and dear ones. I would convince him/her to tell his/her family about the disease so that they can help him/her. This will help both the person who is suffering from HIV and his/her family lead a better life.

— Keepa Shrestha

If I meet anybody who is HIV positive, I won’t insist him/her to disclose this fact to his/her kith and kin if s/he does not prefer to. I will suggest them to become involved in different HIV/AIDS awareness programmes. I shall encourage and support them to carry out social initiatives against HIV/AIDS. Then I think his/her relatives and friends will also be influenced by his/her activities and will accept the fact positively. As ‘Actions speak louder the words’ this will make a positive impact on the family too and they will also bring about a change in their view on HIV/AIDS and HIV infected people.

— Dev Raj Adhikary, Nepaltar

It may sound unethical but to reveal about the bearer’s disease to his/her near and dear ones is not unethical. Problems are reduced when shared with others. Besides, the family or other near and dear ones deserve to know if something wrong is happening. The lifespan of the AIDS patients can be longer with proper care and treatment so, if family and friends are aware of it, they can take necessary actions. I would certainly tell the patient’s family even if I were asked to keep it a secret.

— Rhea Gurung, Shital Marg, Maharajgunj

If I find out someone is HIV positive but s/he is hiding it from his/her family then I would convince him/her to break the news to his/her family so that his /her family can help him and encourage him/her to live a better life. They can share their sorrow with their family and live a life of togetherness.

— Salima Tuladhar

If I find out that someone I know is HIV positive but that person is hiding it from his/her dear ones then I would convince and then help him/her to break the news to his/her family. I do not think that it is incorrect to tell this to his/her dear ones though s/he may prefer not to. But we should not hide such things and tell the family as soon as possible. We should also educate his/her dear ones about the disease, tell them that it does not spread by shaking hands or sitting near that person.

— Sabrina Shakya

If I know that someone is HIV positive and is hiding it from his/her family then I will convince him/her to break the news to his/her family rather than pretend that I don’t know anything about it. It is not correct to tell anyone’s secret, but in this case it is necessary so that his/her family can help him/her.

— Alisha Shakya

Its best to convince

the person and help him tell his family that he has been infected with HIV. If he opens up to his family then even his tensions will decrease and his family can help him. So he should openly talk about it with his parents.

— Prakash Adhikari