Ajaya Sharma

Kathmandu:

A few days ago on Valentine’s Day, Reema got a love letter from Rajeev. Just three words and it changed their relationship from friendship to love. The same day Bibek sent his love message to Rakshya. Even this proposal changed their relationship. But unfortunately this became the cause of “The End” to any relations they had till now. These are scenes that are now generally heard and seen at colleges. Besides study, attraction, like and love are something that have become a part of our co-educational study institutes. In these happenings, we have noticed that each time the first step of love that is proposing is generally made by a boy. Only after the proposal of a boy’s love, it’s a girl who decides whether to approve or disapprove the proposal. The age is the same, the level of attractions, likes and love may be the same, there is no difference among them regarding these things. But then also, girls remain silent most of the time. Even if they like someone, they don’t express themselves first. They give this right to a boy. This first step is taken generally by boys. Then, the second step of deciding is made by a girl. If a girl is to approve the proposal, then, too, she likes the boy to approach her first. The boys, too, like the first move coming from their side. Any of them can break an ice but the social rules want a boy to do the job and if a girl does that then she violates the unseen (but felt) rule that society has framed for her. The societal rules don’t give even boys the right to interfere in others’ lives but boys violate societal rules easily and even the society doesn’t seem to mind that .So this first step is taken generally by boys.

In cases where a girl doesn’t have any such feelings towards a boy, the boy without even waiting to realise the girl’s feelings, keeps his love proposal in front of the girl. He doesn’t care and doesn’t even feel the necessity of knowing what the girl would feel after the proposal is put in front of her. For Bibek, it was just a formalisation of his like or let’s say ‘love’ as he describes it. But for Rakshya it proved to be the cause of her isolation from gatherings and get togethers as her parents found out. Now, she doesn’t go to birthday treats or gatherings nor does she become a part of any get-together. She was unfortunate that the proposal came to the notice of her parents. And, what next?

After this incident, I think that we should make rules that bind every member of the society. Let’s be aware that the girl may not suffer for the mistake committed by a boy. Let’s make rules to rescue the victim.