Failure in relationships Sagar Panthi

Kathmandu:

I am a failure in relationships. There are many reasons — my boorish behavior, my boring conversation and most importantly my inability to “share” things. To make a person believe that you have faith in him or her, you have to tell him or her every thing about you. He or she always wants to know if you have had a love relationship with anybody. Is it still continuing or have you broken up? If broken up, why? You even have to talk trivia like, what you write in your diary, what you have in your wallet that makes it so fat. He or she sees something pretty and asks if it was given as a gift. If it was, who is it that gave it to you? What relationship do you have with that person?

The pressure is even greater when you have a relationship (not necessarily love) with, or simply talk to, two people who do not get along with each other. You talk to one person and the other wants to know what you talked about. You say, you will not tell and promptly comes the reply, “I know you only care for that person but never think about me.” On the other side it is more or less the same. “What did he/she say?” and finally, “I know I’m not the right person for you.”

At times, it irks you so much that you feel like breaking up with one of them, or even shooting him or her down to end the problem. For me, when it comes to making light conversations I am reluctant. I am even more reluctant to talk about my private matters. When I am asked about my relationship with a third person, I can do that, only to the extent that I am comfortable with. I cannot “share” matters that are confidential. There are some things, which a person tells you and then adds, “Don’t tell anybody else.”

If that is the case, is it wise to tell another every thing, at the expense of his or her faith in you? Yes, it is. It is not only wise, but also a must, for an intimate relationship. If you fail to do so, you fail in relationships. How can one trust you without knowing you inside out? If you have heard the saying, ‘Honesty is the best policy,’ erase it from your mind and install a better and more practical one. “Every thing is fair in love and war.”