Rabindra Maharjan

Kathmandu:

I had never once thought that I would have to repaint my life. I thought I would live a happy life but little did I realise just how full of predicaments it would be. And I would have my heart broken by an angel. But I guess it was destined to happen.

When I saw her for the first time I was captivated by her beauty. I thought of her all the time. My heart seemed to beat only for her. A kind of good feeling seemed to rule my entire being. I thought of expressing my feelings to her but I never seemed to find the “right” time. I remember how I used to steal glances. And when she thought I was not looking at her, she did too. We were trying to be discreet but our eyes always met. I used to be happy when she was happy and sad when she felt grief. Sometimes, she, too, used to ask me what it was that I felt for her. All I could say was that I liked her. One day one of my friends proposed to her. When I heard about it, my heart skipped a beat and I ran out of words. I couldn’t say anything to her. I tried to control my feelings and my tears but all in vain. When I was unaware of my own feelings, how could I understand theirs?

One day my friends coaxed me into telling her how I felt. I remember how nervous I was when I proposed to her. She just smiled and kept silent. I feared that I must have done something terribly wrong. It was only later when I found out that she begun to like my friend more than me, that I realised that I shouldn’t proposed to her. I tried to understand her and respect her feelings. Now I am trying to forget all those wonderful memories that we made.

I have realised that in order to fulfil my dreams, I have to study hard. I have in a way forced myself to sacrifice my love for her happiness. I pray a fervent prayer that the Gods may fulfil her every desire and may she overcome every pain and sorrow that comes her way.