All people are romantic, even if they deny it vehemently. There is something about the standard bits of the aesthetic (candlelight, roses, decadent food, alcohol,

or clothing, passionate declarations or literature) that naturally go with romance. Then why does the majority of the subculture profess to take a cynical view of the whole

dating, love and romance whirl? Because people are all idealistic romantics at heart,

and either don’t want to be ridiculed, or have been hurt too often …

How to deal with the break-up of a romance? So there you are in love, and suddenly everything changes. “I need some space”. “I think we should just be friends”. “It’s not you, it’s me”. Or even, “I don’t want to be involved with you,” and no further explanation.

Dos and don’ts: Don’t ask for an explanation from your now ex-lover. You think that sort

of information will make you feel better, but it won’t. No matter what the reason for the break-up is, it won’t change the sinking feeling that accompanies the realisation that someone you cared for doesn’t want you anymore, and no amount of “friendly” talks with your ex will expunge that feeling. Only time will do that.

Yes, cry. Listen to “your” song, get maudlin, and stare blankly at your surroundings. This is a necessary catharsis. But try not to do it in public. If you give full vent to your feelings of anger, despair, and weepiness no matter where you are, eventually people are not going to be as sympathetic, just because they don’t want to continually deal with the emotional drama you are going through.

The best revenge is to live a happy life after they’ve broken up with you, to go on to do things you want to and end up in a much better relationship.

Do not turn up where you know they’ll be so you can show them how miserable they’ve made you. Do not torment yourself with “what could I have done to make them stay” sorts of questions. Do not call them and hang up when they answer, and for goodness sake, do not send strange, stalker-esque letters and postcards to them.

Now, what about if you are the person who initiated the break-up? Oh, there are some things that you need to be aware of don’t think you’re getting away scot-free.

After the first talk where you actually break up with the other person, don’t give in to any impulses to talk things over. They need time to get over the hurt, and the understandable urge to scream and rant, if not throw objects, at you. If you run into them in public, be distantly cordial and polite.

No matter how silly or overly dramatic you think the behaviour of your ex is, you don’t get to make snide or hurtful comments about it to them, or in the presence of anyone who might repeat them to your ex. Privately you can cast aspersions on what they’re doing, but publicly you have to be polite.

There is a true love out there for everyone. Some people just aren’t destined to live happily ever after with someone. But, that doesn’t mean you should stop trying, or wall yourself off from the possibility of romance.