talk to me : Be free. Be happy

The other guy

I am a 20-year-old girl. I was in love with a guy but later came to know we are different. We had frequent fights. There were hardly any days when we were happy. Though he loves me, I know we cannot spend our life together. I recently met a guy and we get along very well. He knows about my past and still loves me. Am I selfish to leave the first guy?

— Very Confused 

Dear Confused,

Every individual has a right to be happy, so be free. No need to maroon yourself in a relationship that is fraught with fights. Some individuals thrive on negative emotions and unwittingly draw people they love into their turbulent inner space. Be warned. Make sure you make a clean break with this man before you move on to your next relationship. Otherwise things can get very complicated.

Friends in love?

I love a guy very much. We are good friends. He doesn’t feel the same way about me. Recently I came to know he likes someone else but she doesn’t love him. He told me he has not able to get her out of his mind. He has started doing a lot of crazy stuff that frighten me a lot. I want to help him. I want to divert his mind because I feel it is no use hanging onto someone who you will never get. But it may seem as if I am trying to make him mine because he knows I like him. So, what should I do? Is there anything I can do for him or just leave him in his state and go along with time?

— Confused Gal 

Dear Confused Gal,

The classic love triangle! A loves B, but B loves C, and C loves someone else kay garne? You need to act fast as this guy is doing crazy stuff and may harm himself. He may be psychologically disturbed and is seeking attention with his actions The only thing you can do is tell him what you really feel and warn him about the consequence of his actions. You should not feel guilty about the fact that your motive might be considered selfish after all you are driven by a higher emotion called love. By counselling him, you are doing your duty as a friend. If he does not reciprocate your affections, move on. Be consoled by the fact that you did your best for a good friend.