Leaving on a jet plane:

I am 23-years-old and I have completed my bachelors. I have been in love with a girl for past four years. But then she is just my good friend. Two years ago I proposed her but she refused. But we became good friends. I really love her but I will be going abroad soon. By the time I come back she might get married to someone else. I am really scared and confused to propose her again. I might hurt her and I don’t want to do that again. I want to see her happy in life but at the same time I do not want to lose her.

— Problem holder

Dear Problem Holder,

If you really do not want to lose this girl, you’ ve got to swallow your pride and propose to her again. Tell her how much you love her and that you want to come back and marry her. If accepts your proposal, it will be a dream come true for you. However, if she rejects you for the second time, do not be heartbroken. Think of what lies ahead of you. Your studies and your experiences abroad will give you maturity. Time is a great healer. By the time you return you will have forgotten your present dilemma.

Confused:

I’m 25 years old and I am single and doing my final year of bachelors. I’m in a big confusion. Few days ago, I was compelled to visit my sister-in-law’s sister for marriage proposal. She is also doing her final year. When I met her she said that she has a boyfriend and she came to meet me only due pressure. She wants to pursue education and then a career. Though I promised never to call her again, her sister called me and forced me to call her. But when I did call her she seemed very excited. She confessed that she gets irritated when other people talk about me to her. When I said that I would not be calling her again she felt very sad. She wanted me to call her again. She always says that I am a good person. She wants me to be her good friend. So should I? I can’t really figure out what she wants?

— Asman

Dear Asman,

You don’t need to get confused while you are in the final year of your academic programme. Distractions can be delightful. However, when the issue of marriage is hanging above you like the sword of Damocles, be warned. This girl is hopelessly confused and does not know what she really wants. If you are intrigued by her confusion, call her. Remember that she has a boyfriend and resents having a suitable boy being thrust upon her. As neither are you in love, why not cultivate a friendship and see where that takes you.

Job or studies:

I am the student of BBS third year and my exams are coming near. I also teach in a school. It’s been two years that I have been into this profession. Because of my job I am unable to pass my exams. So I am planning to quit the job but my friends suggest me not to quit the job now. I am really confused. Help me!

— Its sss

Dear sss,

Quit your job right away. Teaching is a taxing profession. Passing these exams will give you an edge in the job market and enhance your career prospects. You can always return to teaching. It is imperative that teachers pass their exams to be on the teaching faculty of any school.

What is love?

I am a 19-year-old guy. I am in love with a girl since the last three years and the girl loves me very much. We used to share everything with each other and now I came to know from a third person that she likes someone else but she has not told me about it. But these days I feel she is neglecting me. Should I continue my relationship with her?

— Confused love

Dear Confused,

You can end your confusion and jealousy by being upfront and direct. Are you imagining this recent ‘neglect’ or has it been prompted by this ‘third person’. Don’t react immediately to such allegations and succumb to suspicion. Think things out. Talk to your girlfriend. Successful relationships endure the test of time because they are built on love, trust and good communication skills.

My fair lady:

I am 17 years old and currently studying in class 12. I have a girlfriend who is very special to me and I love her so much that I can’t express it here. Her presence has been an inspiration to me. But I have a problem. We have already had been intimate and after that she has been ignoring me and does not want to meet me. I don’t know what went wrong or what happened. How can I convince her to come back into my life? I can’t live without her. Today the sole reason I am living is because of her. Please help me.

— Perplexed

Dear Perplexed,

Your girlfriend is feeling awkward after having had a physical relationship with you. There are several emotions at play here — guilt, remorse, confusion... perhaps even a feeling that she has been used and her respect undermined in some way. You need to talk to her and tell her how much you love her. If you are unable to convey this to her with words, send her a card — use the power of your pen to tell her how important she is to you. Inundate her with flowers and let her know how much you care for her.

Got any problems regarding your personal life, career, or academics and want answers to? Mail Sangeeta Thapa at features@thehimalayantimes.com