TALK TO ME: Don’t let your crush crush you
Madly in love:
I have a crush on this girl called Sikha. She is from my class. I am crazy about her. She is so frank, friendly, bubbly and so cute that I cannot explain her beauty to you. There are other guys like me who like her but they know that I am in love with her so I do not have problems with them. We share our feelings, gifts with each other; go to movies and restaurants. We bunk classes and have long chats outside. Our problem is her conservative parents who do not know about these things and they will kill her. My parents are understanding. But till the time I earn my own keep, I cannot marry her. In the meantime her parents are looking for a guy. What should I do? — Her SK
Congratulations on having found the love of your life. But how will you earn money and marry this cutie-pie of yours if you bunk classes and flunk school? Her conservative parents are not the issue right now. Remember that you are making her bunk classes too. Her parents will never forgive you if you are sited as the reason for her academic failure. Be real. If you want to marry this girl, you have to have a college degree that will hopefully get you a job someday. Being in love is a real high, however, love should not be counterproductive.
I am a 17-year-old girl and this is my first relationship. He is 3-4 years older to me. I love him very much and he loves me too but I am a problem creator because I doubt him unnecessarily. He’s quite outgoing and has lots of friends including girls and often goes to parties and stays out late. He tells me everything, never lies and is always there for me. But sometimes I can’t control my mind. I don’t want to lose him. How can I solve this problem? — Miss Unstable
Dear Miss Unstable,
There are some factors in this relationship which make you feel insecure: 1.This is your first relationship; 2. He is older and more mature than you; 3. He is outgoing while you are not; 4. Your movement is limited by your parents; 5. He has female friends while you are still uncomfortable around men; 6. He tells you everything and this probably makes you feel left out and resentful.
Don’t frighten your boyfriend away with your doubts. Learn to be mature. Obsessive and possessive behaviour can only be dispelled by trust which is the most important foundation of love.
I met a girl on the net. She was sensitive, caring and loving. Our relation grew and she became my best e-pal. When I talk to her, I forget my pain and now I cannot imagine my world without her. She has became a part of my life. She also seems interested in me so can I term it love. But I am scared she might not like me, as I am not good looking. — Friendosis
Considering your relationship has progressed quite well, do you need to feel insecure about your looks at this point? Would you abandon your best e-pal and the love of your life if she was a bespectacled buck toothed bison? To avoid future disappointment, I suggest that you net savvy two-some scan your photographs and send it to each other mucho fast. If either of you is repulsed by the image received, discontinue the relationship or just remain friends. Remember that true love is not centered on good looks.
I am a girl of 18. I feel very insecure about my looks. I feel insecure about the way I talk, laugh and everything else you can think of. I am not that bad looking but I don’t know why I feel this way. I feel everybody else is better looking than me. Now all this has started hampering my studies and I don’t feel like talking to anybody. If this goes on, I will get mental one day. Please help me. — The depressed
Just remember that everyone who is born on this planet is special. If all the girls born on this planet looked, talked,laughed like Britney Spears, what a boring place this earth would be. Rejoice in being different. Perhaps people are looking at you because you are “not a bad looking person”. Try and be around positive people. Watch positive movies movies and toss out the melancholy novels on your shelf. Yoga and meditation can really help you progress with your studies and your day to day life situations. Remember that only you can overcome your personal insecurities, so learn to help yourself.
I am an 18-year-old guy and I have a number of crushes. I get infatuated with all the girls I see. I have proposed but have been rejected several times. Yet I still have not lost hope. I cannot concentrate in my studies. I am good at studies but if this crush matter continues, my career will be ruined. — Crushed heart
Dear Crushed Heart,
It looks like you are the creator of your own misery. Learn to exercise some self-control so that you don’t make a fool of yourself. I suggest you try yoga to calm the excitable boy within you. Learn to listen to yourself and your gut instinct. It’s normal to have crushes. However, this does not give you the licence to propose to the whole world. No girl will take you seriously if you drool over every female that comes your way. One important issue is don’t propose for the sake of proposing. Learn to be selective. Propose to a girl who reciprocates your attention and is sensitive to your feelings.