A classmate proposed after SLC and we started going around. We used to talk over the phone but hardly met. This went on for about year-and-half. Then a couple of guys from her college called and told me about they felt about her. I thought about it: “She loves me and I was lucky, but the guys are bottom level people while I am top level.” So, I thought of giving them a chance and stopped calling her. But she used to call me thrice a month. Then one day, we accidentally met on a busy road. She asked me what was wrong. My answer was, “I was just flirting with you.” Though it was not how I felt. I don’t know how I uttered those hurtful words. Our relationship ended there and then, but till date I feel guilty about how I treated her. What should I do to set things straight? — Good stupid boy

Dear Good Boy,

I understand good boys can behave stupidly sometimes. The affairs of the heart need to be treated with sensitivity, even though it is realistically difficult to gauge how far a relationship can progress based purely on phone calls. Careless whispers and hurtful words can be very damaging. If you genuinely want to undo some of the pain you have caused, call her and apologise. However, you must seriously consider if you want to resume your relationship as well. This should help you to decide your course of action and to choose your phraseology.

Distant lover

I am a teenaged girl in love with a boy since I was in Class X. It’s been three years now. He is not in Nepal since 14 months. He also hasn’t continued his studies and I am afraid I will not be happy if I marry him. But I am unable to leave him. There is another boy who has proposed to me twice, but I haven’t given him an answer. What should I do? — Confused gal.

Dear Confused Gal,

It might be prudent to give your boyfriend some time to sort himself out. Where has he moved to? Perhaps the transition has been difficult for him and this is why he is not continuing with his studies. However, if he tells you some months later, that he does not wish to enroll himself in any academic programme, I can understand your reservations. Only you can decide whether to leave him or not. Trust your intuition, there is no point being in a relationship where you know you will not be happy.

Best pal’s ‘love’

I am a boy of 18. A year ago a girl proposed and I didn’t even like her a lot. But she convinced me I that loved her and I accepted her, which is absolutely wrong. This had a lot of negative effect on me, and I rejected her and don’t even talk to her. However, because of this my best friend, who also loves me, is now beha-ving in a bad way with me. How do I handle this? — Sanjiv K

Dear Sanjiv,

Alas, you seem to be totally spineless! How can a girl convince you that you are in love with her? Don’t you know your own heart? Were you overtly seduced by the idea of being in love? No wonder your affair went all wrong with her! There is no point being in a relationship that is dogged by negativity, and it is good you terminated the relationship once you realised you had made a mistake. However, breakups do not need to be ugly and painful and it looks like you ended this relationship without finesse. It will help you to remember that a woman needs to be treated with respect and dignity before, during and even after a relationship is over. Perhaps this is what put your best friend off...even though you claim that she loves you.

Love hurts

I am 16 in love with a girl named Salina. She’s in Biratnagar and I’m missing her so much so that I’m unable to concentrate on my studies. I used to score good marks, but now I don’t think I will. What do I do? — Roshan

Dear Roshan,

I understand that you miss your girlfriend and that it is difficult when two people who love each other, have to live away from each other. However, your girlfriend is living in the same country and not on another planet, so get a grip on yourself and stop being a wimp.

Salina in Biratnagar would not be happy to learn that you are flunking your studies because of her, and vice versa. Learn to channel your energies better and be positive.