Angry young man

I am an only child and feel alone when surrounded by many people. I feel so alone that I get aggressive and break everything when I get there. I am only angry for five minutes but during that time I feel as if I could kill anyone. My loneliness also causes suicidal tendencies. Is this a mental problem?

— Kishore

Dear Kishore,

You need to see a psychiatrist very quickly. You need to sort out your feelings of loneliness, anger and your depression. You are suffering from an intense feeling of alienation, which

could have been accentuated by various factors in your rearing as an only child. The fact that

you are the only child and a male child in your family has many ramifications. I am surprised that your parents haven’t taken you to a psychiatrist. It is significant that you realise that you have a problem.

Confusing

My name is Rashik and I am in love with a girl named Luni. I have proposed to her twice and, both times, she has refused. Yet she says she does care about me and would do anything for me. What do I do? I cannot get her out of my mind.

— Rashik

Dear Rashik,

Your friend Luni seems to be a girl with impeccable manners, who values your friendship. She

has VERY politely declined your proposal twice. Why don’t you respect her decision? Quit bombarding her with your amorous advances. For a change, why don’t you get involved in some active sports or a pet project? Be real- learn to accept a NO with dignity.

Choices

I am 20 years old and have been brought up in a very restrictive atmosphere. I want to have freedom and do things according to my own will, values and desires. My parents consider it bad to have male friends, and this forces me to lie to them, which I hate doing. Am I on the wrong track? Please do let me know since I am very confused. I don’t want to lie anymore, and don’t want to hurt my parents and break their trust. But I also don’t want to say goodbye to all these things I want. I want to have balance in my life.

— Jane

Dear Jane,

Your parents must have lived a more restricted and sheltered life than you. Or they must have endured considerable hardships and want to protect you from perceived dangers which could come in the guise of ‘male friends’. You talk of friendship, freedom, will, values, desires and parents trust….what does all this mean? The only way you can make your parents trust you is by involving them in your life. Introduce them to your friends; tell them about your studies, your hopes and dreams. Don’t make the mistake of compartmentalising these two worlds…one where your friends prevail and the other where your parents dominate. Try intelligently to bring these two worlds together, so that you can have the balance that you desire in your life.

Priorities

I’m a 28-year-old Muslim male. I met a Mongolian Buddhist online who lives in India. She loves me. I told her I’m aMuslim but she likes to chat with me. She is serious and always wants my company. If I marry her will she be able to adjust to the norms of my religion and change her life? Your honest advice will help me.

— Wistful, Nepalgunj

Dear Wistful

Living in la-la land, though your love may be just a click away, the real world is vastly different. The ephemeral world of words can be seductive. You have been sucked into these phenomena like so many others. Your Mongolian Buddhist who professes to love you and demands that you chat to her constantly seems to have addled your mind. Do you know what she looks like? Does she know what you look like? Before you decide to marry your enigmatic Mongolian, how about meeting her first? It is imperative that both your expectations are matched. Adjustments, dear wistful, come later.

Decision

I have just completed my BBS. My parents want me to study CA but I want to go abroad to pursue my masters degree. I think CA would be a good career but I’m not sure if I’ll pass the entrance exam. What should I consider while making my decision?

— Gautam

Dear Gautam

You sound like a bright young man. Don’t underestimate yourself. Go ahead and sit for your CA exam. Give it your one hundred percent. Tell your parents that you are making alternative contingent plans to study abroad, in the event that you fail your CA exams. If you pass all is well, if you don’t your study abroad could come as a blessing in disguise.