Parents, spare the rod and save your child from trauma

Himalayan News Service

Kathmandu, January 19:

Bindiya Gurung’s performance in school is good and she works hard. But she was not always so. The 12-year-old Bindiya has come a long way and started achieving good grades in the school. She has confidence in herself now and also a sense of responsibility towards her family.

Counsellor Rebecca Bajracharya says Bindiya has improved a lot. “Earlier, she had an irrational fear of her father and always shivered.” Owing to high stress levels she suffered due to her father’s violent behaviour towards her mother and herself, Bindiya came to develop an irrational behaviour pattern towards her father, Bajracharya added. Bajracharya, counsellor of SAATHI said children’s ability to return to normalcy after suffering domestic violence depends on their own will power. She added that while boys tended to be aggressive, dominating and fought for their cause, the girls tend to be introverts and sensitive. “Due to the lack of attention in the family and their inferiority complex, they express themselves in an unhealthy manner.”

Though the trauma they go through changes them a lot, they can be made to feel confident again either by convincing them of a safe environment or empowering them to face the situation. Counselling helps to them to be positive, confident and secure about the future, Bajracharya added. Improvement is effected by reinforcement, reward, punishment, praising, and appreciating even their small tasks. TU associate professor Dr Ganga Pathak said, “Counselling needs to be given to both the parents and children.”