 I believe that we as human beings can never be satisfied. This very unsatisfied feeling makes us restless and unhappy. We often hear people advising us to remain satisfied and happy — but sadly, we still don’t seem to have mastered the art of remaining happy and joyful. If only we could accept our unhappiness and dissatisfaction truly, we can be happy. If only we understand that our very nature makes us unwilling to settle for anything, we can be happy.

— Shreeja Adhikari, Balaju, Banasthali

 People have insatiable needs. The only way one can deal with this is to try to be satisfied with what one has. Happiness comes to those who know how worst life can be and still know how beautiful it is. We should never forget what we have today which is a lot more than what we deserve. The bond with my family and friends, and a little sum of money to fulfil my basic needs are enough to bring a big smile on my face.

— Kamana Sigdyal, Global College of Management

 Our world exists in a duality. Happiness and sadness are two sides of the same coin. So, when we are happy, sadness is inevitable. And when we are sad, happiness is inevitable. In my opinion, the only way to escape the never ending cycle of happiness and sadness is to seek the third option — peace. Unlike happiness and sadness, peace is everlasting. But to reach that perfect state in life, we must relinquish all worldly desires of sexual pleasure, money and power. In return, we will find a paradise on earth. Pure freedom!

— Anonymous

 Human beings are indeed tangled creatures however intelligent. Hungry mind and bouncing heart always strive to acquire more and more despite their every basic/fundamental needs are fulfilled. May be this is the reason, we merely find happy people around and I am no exception being sad at times. Actually, I hold two things responsible as constraints of my happiness — my mood and thought process. Instant change in mood and the complicated never ending thought process are the sole reasons for my sadness. How do I handle? I inhale-exhale air, and convince and counsel myself saying happiness is satisfaction and that it lies inside me. I repeat these words to myself. Sometime, my favourite songs, calm fragrances, quality time with my loved ones happen to make my mood better and then my sadness vanishes in the thin air.

— Rashmee Karki

 I have my mother as my only loving and caring member in my family. I have my caring friend too (Keerun Panta). And I am yet to see the successful career of myself as well as smooth love life. Sometimes, it’s normal for us to feel unhappy and disappointed despite the pleasant things around us. I’ve often experienced such moments. This merely happens when we anticipate the negativity by overlooking the positives or when we wonder whether we can retain the way of positive living in forthcoming days.

Whenever I face such situations, I just try to focus on my ongoing situation and control myself being positive and placid. Overlooking positivity always yields to disappointment, perturbation and frustration. So, the best way to deal with such situation is, not to succumb to the temptation of negativity. We need to dig deep in order to look for the positives.

— Sanjog Karki, Tansen-6, Basantapur, Palpa

 I have had the feeling of emptiness in spite of often having many things in my life. This used to frustrate me in my younger days. However, with time as I matured as an individual, I started realising that material gains in life cannot actually bring true happiness and fulfilment. Of course one needs money and resources to survive; but as we keep asking for more and more in life being involved in an unhealthy rat race, we slowly start becoming emptier every day. I have realised that happiness actually could not be captured by living in palatial buildings or having fat bank accounts but only by achieving inner peace. The more wealth we gather in life; greater is the pain we suffer, first in accumulating that wealth, then for protecting it and lastly from the fear of losing that wealth. Hence, the only way to fight with emptiness in life is to balance our life and protecting it from being involved in accumulating overwhelming wealth and power. Sharing the resources of life with those that are not so fortunate in life in having them is the best medicine for dealing with unexplained emptiness. I have found peace in that and I believe that others will do too.

— Saikat Kumar Basu, Apt 6-409, 43 Street South, Lethbridge AB

Canada T1J 4B3

 I think it is impossible to have not any problems in life. In accounting term, there may not be correct calculation, but there should be fair calculation. Similarly, life is also full of complicated things — relationship, love and career. In any case we humans are not happy. In such case, we should be in search of infinity, means that we should be continuously in search of knowledge and meaning of life in different perspectives. For instance, we should compare and analyse the situation by putting oneself in others’ shoes in terms of love, career, relationships and prosperity. There may be people who lack love, family support, career and success due to various reasons. To be happy, there should be realisation of our acts and what we get for what we do and how others benefit. Happiness depends upon us as how to treat a situation and time in acceptable manner that results in inner happiness.

— Santosh Bayalkoti, Shantinagar, New Baneshwor

 Despite of having everything, sometimes people become upset missing their old days. I have faced this situation many times. The reason behind this is very simple — we don’t enjoy in our present but when it becomes our past, we realise its importance becoming sad by missing it. And we can simply deal such situation by doing the things which make us feel happy like listening to songs, reading my favourite newspaper The Himalayan Times.

— Shristy Khetan, Birgunj, Nepal, B P College

 Happiness is something that no one can give or take away from us. It is something we cannot buy nor sell it. I feel that even if we have all that we want, we are unhappy because our wants are more than our needs. If we look for our needs in life, we will be satisfied with minimum things we have. Happiness lies not in doing what you like but in liking what you do.

— Amrita Mary, Tamil Nadu

 Firstly it is crucial to realise the fact that life is not always about the bed of roses. In a humdrum of life, we are dragged into vicious circle of turmoil, conflict and depression. As of me, when I am unhappy, I try to remain calm and give time for myself. My intention lies to understand the situation and gather positive vibes so that I can pacify myself. I prefer to isolate myself from the scenario rather than reacting in no time which otherwise makes the matter severe.

—Abiral Pritam Bhandari, Student of Civil Engineering, Kathmandu University

 In our lifetime, we all go through happiest and worst moments and we need to accept it. In case of difficult situations, we must accept them. Everyone accepts happiest times but is unstable to worst situations. It is human nature. What I say is that one should be ready for the worst situations in our life like we are for happiest moments. Acceptance makes you strong from within.

— Hemlata

 It is a fact that people are never satisfied with what they have. Every time they feel there’s something missing in their life that makes them unhappy. Though I have my loving parents who support me all the time and encourage me even if I make mistakes and caring friends like Sachina, Sarita, Manilla and Sushmita, I sometimes feel frustrated due to my college life, my relatives and most of the time because of my love life. Because of my boyfriend’s attitude, I feel depressed and think whether I am just destroying my career. So to remove my loneliness and unhappiness, I listen to I Need You Now by Lady Antebellum all the time. This song has become the way to forget everything and feel good. Every evening I also go to the top of my house and feel the beautiful nature of my surrounding with this song, and this freshens my mind.

— Robynsumi

 Happiness in life is having loving family, caring friends, successful career and smooth love life. And I am thankful that I realised it before it was too late. In the rush of making successful career, we forget how and what we are. Every now and then, we run to make ourselves best, forgetting what we are and wanted to be. Also, no matter how loving and close our family is we have to bow down many times keeping our desire and wishes unsaid. Same is in the case of my love life.

It might sound stupid but all of sudden I took two biggest decisions of my life. I ended my love life with strong heart because it was going nowhere. We mutually ended it. Also, the job that I was doing thinking as my career was not giving me happiness and inner satisfaction and so I just quit it. Now I am happy from all ways. I have changed the meaning of happiness. Happiness is not in fulfilling what society tells us to be, but in fulfilling our small wishes of life without caring about social boundaries.

— Rinku Subedi

 For me happiness is merely an internal thing. There should be a balance between inner world and outer world. We live our life pursuing happiness out there as if it is a commodity. Happiness is not something that can be purchased like commodity. It is a kind of illusion. Famous psychologist Carl Jung has said, “One who looks outside, dreams and one who looks inside, awakes.” It is not wrong to desire to be happy but what is wrong is to look happiness outside while it can only be found inside.

— Subash Pandey, Walling-8, Syangja

 In the hopes of attaining happiness through defined sets of goals like perfect family, career and relationships, one can still feel empty and unhappy once they are achieved. My experience so far has taught me that everything from fame to feelings is temporary. Dissatisfaction and unhappiness exist even when you are living a fairy tale life and one way to deal with it is by living with positive conscience and in reality. Look around and feel lucky to have what others work hard to have all their lives. Don’t take the love and support of your family and friends for granted rather embrace their presence every day. And in the journey of attaining all the ideas of happiness don’t forget to love yourself because eventually happiness and satisfaction should come from within you.

— Kajal Rai

 In the past, I used to think that being the only child of my parents, I really felt lonely, bored and even ignored. I even used to think that there was simply nobody to talk to me for a long time. Besides I felt that due to loneliness I was getting depressed a lot. Now at present I have really done away with such thoughts. Now I feel that one should never feel lonely, bored and ignored just because s/he is born as a single child to her/his parents. To be honest, we should try to have as many friends so that we can share our inner feelings with them. Having long conservations with our parents is also the other way to tackle your problems and dissatisfaction. On the other hand, we can also spend our useful time with our cousins for company. Neither, I have successful career nor I am in a relationship. Still I have loving family and caring friends who are there for me whenever I need them. Due to this, I feel myself really happy.

— Pratik Shrestha, Buddhanagar, Baneshwor

 I was not content with my life — always searching for the things I don’t have. I needed tips to be happy and was in quest for happiness. I recently met a sister, a cheerful doctor who is always smiling. She is my source of motivation. When I share my thoughts about life, she laughed and told me that I am too young to be so thoughtful about life and to let go of things.

She told me to stay optimistic, be helpful, appreciate family and friends and most importantly to love the people and things you do. Sometimes, we learn lesson from people as well as from wrong relationships. Take every day as a lesson and be ready for the next day’s challenge. Never cling to anything.

Currently, I have been hired by a nice company. I do have supportive family and more than that I do have precious friends. I try to enjoy each and every moment with them. I minimise the longing for things and am happy with what I have. And I smile everyday so that I can see its reflection on others’ face which leads my day to a happy day.

— Sangita B K Rasaili, Maitidevi, Kathmandu

 We are never content and happy in our life because we are never satisfied with what we have. Sometimes, even after having everything, we may lack that one thing that could spark happiness inside us. And our happiness lies in peace and satisfaction. If we are not alive from inside then no materialistic aspect can identify our existence. I have gone through a lot of hard times in my life. At times, I felt like crying and running away from my responsibilities. But slowly I conceived a new vision that changed my perception. Slowly, I found a way to make myself happy. Singing, dancing, playing and writing also make me feel good. I started listening to my inner voices that only could understand my

philosophy of life. Eventually, I gained new beauty, zeal and enthusiasm. Therefore, if we accept us in the purest form aka originality we can gain satisfaction and a happy life.

— Kabita Oliya, Kalopul, Kathmandu

 For us, there’s always something that’s missing even in everything. Despite being surrounded by a compassionate social network of family members, friends or colleagues, sometimes you might not find yourself happy because of failure, frustration, stress or maybe a physical ailment. What I have learnt is that it’s a natural human instinct to have a certain degree of discontent even because of small things that you don’t have. But I believe, it’s an acquired aptitude to be happy with what you have. Being happy isn’t easy; it requires a commitment and effort.

Don’t take things for granted. Cherish even the smallest moments in your life. Next time you feel that way, just ask yourself — if you can find reasons not to be happy despite the amenities, then what is stopping you from finding reasons to be happy in the first place. That’s what I always ask myself. The realisation can change your life. After all, happiness is merely a choice that we all make.

— Shreemad Pradhan, Bangemudha, Kathmandu

 Happiness has its own meaning to everyone. We say having a lovely family, caring family and career is all that we need. But they don’t imply to all. But it’s not the core to happiness. I feel so. Ultimate happiness is yet to achieve but live little happier than yesterday is principle of my life. We humans are curious by nature and it’s the main reason why we always look for everything better than what we have. It’s the main reason we don’t feel happy with all good in our life or say, not feeling accomplished. We must be able to appreciate every little we have.

— Anonymous

 There are many things I posses, but still I don’t get pleased with. Staying in a hostel there are many restrictions and boundaries. Similar to other people I have my own devoted family, but I don’t get to stay with them and spend my time like other families do together. Going to home is like being a guest. Even though, I have my family I don’t get satisfied that I have one.

However, to deal with this circumstance I always think of the things that my family has done for me and now it’s my turn to make them blissful. When I think of the separation between us — my family and me, I try to convince myself that I am in the hostel leaving my family to work hard, accomplish success and make them cheerful by being a ‘person’ that my family can be proud of. There are many sacrifices my family has done for me till now by including happiness in my life with their sadness in their life. So, I think optimistic of the situations to make them happy.

I gratify myself by looking at the positive aspects of not being with families. At least it’s better to have a loving and considerate family instead of those who always think I wish I had my parents.

— Binu Timalsina, Rato Bangala School

 When we achieve our goals that we had long strived for, be it loving family or successful career, we tend to decrease the same passion and effort which we had applied for accomplishing them. We slowly lose interest and passion for life. Ultimately, we grow less adventurous and feel bored about our daily schedule. One day someone may ask us whether we are happy and our nightmare begins. We taunt ourselves that we are we really happy. And the real problem begins.

Actually, I’ve personally not passed through such situation but I’ve seen my closed ones complain about such unhappiness. To cope with such situation, we must immediately withdraw ourselves from such a lifestyle and spend some quality time with ourselves. We might give a try to some adventures which may raise a new passion and an enthusiasm. The result can soon be seen in our daily life. We will soon see much excitement in our dull life as well.

— Anonymous

 Though my life is not a bed of roses, but the fact remains that compared to innumerable hapless souls across the globe plagued by acute poverty, hunger, joblessness, terrorism and atrocities of all possible hues; I am a very fortunate person. Still often I definitely feel very depressed and unhappy.

The only silver lining in my story is that I succeed in overcoming it by diverting my mind towards all things positive. By immersing myself in the songs of Rabindranath Tagore, viewing albums containing pictures of my happy memories or engaging in creative things like writing letters and articles; I succeed in consigning my unhappiness to oblivion. Also inspiring quotations like “Just remember there is someone out there who is more than happy with less than what you have” do provide me a major boost.

— Kajal Chatterjee, Kolkata, India

QUESTION OF THE WEEK

Not everyone is able to pursue the career of his/her choice. If you are given a chance to change your career — whether you are successful or not — would you switch to some other sector of your choice? Why? Illustrate.

­Send your replies in not more than 200 words by Friday, May 20 by 2:00 pm to Features, The Himalayan Times,

e-mail: features@thehimalayantimes.com