CREDOS : Angry at God — III

Michelle Boccanfuso

I was a long time student of the Bible and Science and Health. But at this time, I really needed to go deeper in my study. And I found that I was getting fresh glimpses of what the good I wanted in my life really was. For instance, in the chapter on prayer, there is an emphasis on the nature of God as Love. What I read expanded my view of love as not coming from a person, or being distributed in bits and pieces from a humanlike ruler who says, “I’ll love you this much if…” Or, “I’ll give you this much good when…”

Love, I discerned, was spiritual — the good that was with me constantly. I can now look back over this experience of deepening my understanding of who God is and see how I became united more closely to God as a presence I could trust, as my Father-Mother, my constant companion, my friend, my boss and my husband in the very deepest sense of that term.

I realised once again in an even profounder sense that the God I know, the God I love, doesn’t send evil. The God who loves all of us, love itself, is blessing us all. And it’s for that very reason there is hope when we are up against a wall. I got a glimpse of a God who isn’t just sending good here and there, but is always present, and who gives opportunity to see good, and to be good and to do good. As I was letting go of the concept of God as a human dictator, I was beginning to see God more as an underlying constant Principle of good to which I could always turn. My concept of marriage and relationships underwent a change. I saw that my connection to good, connection to others and my security were not dependent on a particular individual. —, concluded