When two people become one flesh by way of marriage, it is not only their hearts that are united, but their minds and souls as well. Intertwined in unison, this melding of two spirits gives rise to a new way of looking at the world, for it is no longer just your own heart that feels, but your spouse’s as well. His pain becomes your pain; his joy becomes your joy…and vice versa. And along this marital road to discovering each other, your spouse’s traits which you have learned to love, admire, accept, appreciate, nurture, and respect, become your own personal goals as well.

Before I met my previously widowed husband, I lacked experience in and knowledge about issues such as death, dying,

and grief. All I possessed were some basic beliefs about each, but nothing tangible upon which to

base them.

My husband, however, had cornered the market on all three, sadly enough. Not only had he lost his terminally ill first wife of seven years, but his past also harbored the losses of a dearly loved father and brother. I’m sure we’d all agree that he has endured the greatest tragedies one can ever humanly experience.

But we who are without experience can only speculate how we would handle such occurrences if and when death touches out lives, either directly or indirectly. Yes, we would be heartbroken…our lives shattered and upended… but would we survive, perhaps even thrive, because of it? Via the example set by my husband, and the wisdom he has shared with me, I have learned some valuable insights into this thing called grief and its effects on the lives of its survivors. Through the years of being truly “as one” with him, I have absorbed my husband’s character into my own.