CREDOS : Old age — I

I am now, probably for the first time in my life, the person I have always wanted to be. Oh, not my body! I sometimes despair over my body — the wrinkles, the baggy eyes and the sagging butt. And often I am taken aback by that old person that lives in my mirror, but I don’t agonise over those things for long. In fact, I feel like the happiest man living in the planet.

Had it not been for my physical deformities, the only undesirable signs of old age, I would perhaps have had nothing to gripe about. But then I don’t find myself complaining too often about the ugly face that shows on the mirror. It took long enough, but now I have now learned to see the image that reaches far beyond the mirror.

I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly.

As I’ve aged, I’ve become more kind to myself and less critical of myself. I’ve become my own friend. I don’t chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn’t need, but looks so avante garde on my patio. I am entitled to overeat, to be messy, to be extravagant. I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.

Whose business is it if I choose to read until 4:00 am and sleep until noon?

I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 50s & 60s, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love, I will. — rogerknapp.com