MIDWAY : An awakening

Prerana Upadhyay:

Although the difference between December 31 and January 1 is only one day, our psyche measures it as a major milestone and this time I realised it for real. Just 24 hours ago, I was a flawed and ambiguous person, unhappy with everything around me. I had so many complaints. I was unwilling to let go of my desires and I was one of a kind — pleasure-seeking. I was too self-involved to see beyond my own desires. On the night of December 31, I was looking forward to meet someone. An elderly friend of Nepal had first introduced me to him, and it was a purposeful meeting. We had exchanged a few emails and talked occasionally over the phone.

A young man in his twenties, he was exhausted due to a hectic schedule and an upset stomach when I met him. But he was more Nepali than I am, going for the Nepali tea rather than the instant coffee, more down to earth, more practical in every term, more aware of my own country’s culture and geography than me. It was his sixth visit to Nepal. He had first visited Nepal in 2001 and was hooked by the mountains. With a group of friends he established an organisation to uplift specially the women and the underprivileged.

Open as a book, his motto was simple: combine business with social work. He has that inner spark, the right approach to every single facet of his work. His motivation wasn’t a borrowed one. I told him I don’t represent the women of Nepal. Definitely I am one of the few privileged ones to have such opportunities in life. We talked about our work but unfortunately found out we had different tastes. For me it was an enlightening experience. It made me aware of my privilege and my burden as well. After I bid I left him on the dark streets of Kathmandu that night only to return with a newfound conscience.

Sometimes even tiny things show us a direction. In this world, men of faith and self-confidence are like the sun; they go down now only to come up later. Back home, just before midnight, I jotted down these lines on the diary: “God! Thank you for everything, for giving me life and wonderful parents. I am really lucky.”

I discovered an innate strength I was unaware of. Life really talks to us in different ways and we just got to listen to it. This New Year gave me the needed motivation to release my previous beliefs. Quite true, “when we want something, the entire universe conspires in helping us to achieve that.” We are the leaders of our transition. We are the ones who can make a difference through our individual actions, thoughts and vision.