For many young people, love is more a matter of cool-headed business than a warm emotion of the heart. They set terms and conditions, and even do some hard bargaining with their lovers. The purity and spontaneity of this wonderful feeling is completely lost when one of the partners decides to follow this kind of behaviour. It kills the affection of the partner and snuffs out whatever love existed between them. In true love, there is no place for selfish demands for that “pound of flesh.”

When Mahesh eagerly asked Gopika to go to a film with him, and later to a quick bite at McDonald’s, she began to act hoity-toity. “I want you to take me to a 5-star hotel,” she said petulantly. Otherwise, I would rather spend the evening at home. Ever a gentleman, he disliked disappointing her. He did agree to her proposition but it burnt a big hole in his pocket. He also began to have second thoughts about his relationship. He realised that marrying such a self-centred girl would create disharmony in his home and unhappiness all around. After all, a loving relationship is based on being accommodative and giving. Wisely, he decided to move away from her.

Sadly though, many girls have the immature idea that they can have the upper hand in a relationship of love if they set conditions and demands. Such tactics often backfire. Most men seek a tender and loving companion and not a calculating gold digger who is bent on getting the most out of them. Much of the girl’s attraction lies in her gentle and loving nature. She should be sincere and honest with her feelings and not put on airs and make the man do her slightest bidding.

Since the love between girl and boy is supposed to be the bulwark of their future life together, it should have commitment and real concern for each other. It is not a business arrangement where one partner needs to be at an advantage, or where there is room for suspicion. Do not stain the beauty of love with bargaining and conditions. Love means thinking more about the other person’s needs than your own. Love is giving, and giving generously, without hope of reward. Only then will it last a lifetime, and through illness and health, till death doth part the lovers.