MIDWAY: Dennis impersonate

Saurav Dahal:

For me there are two types of people in this world — those who fidget and those who don’t. I belong to the fidgeter’s club. Fidgeting has always been one of my innate attributes. In fact, there isn’t a single lazy bone in my body. I can’t stand still at a place for more than a minute. I just have to jiggle my legs, tap my fingers or move my body back and forth and this applies even when I am eating, studying or watching the television.

This trait is all right with me but the discomfort others have experienced in my fidgeting habit has often been expressed to me in no uncertain terms. Just about everyone is critical of it. They complain about me not behaving well and ruining my image. As a kid, I was a Dennis the Menace-impersonate. Breaking glasses, mes-sing up things and creating ha-voc wherever I went was just a part of me. None of my toys lasted for more than a day. Literally, I was a menace and this is true even now. Though I don’t move around smashing things now, my fidgeting has become an annoyance to all.

Recently, I read an article on obesity which offered me a glimmer of hope. Obesity is a clinical condition where a person puts on extra body fat as a result of excess eating. This interested me quite a bit because I do not just stick on two meals a day. I am the Hantakali, the ravenous, in my circle. I have a huge appetite and always like to get the lion’s share of food. According to the article, I was qualified enough to become obese. But why was I lean and thin? Then, the writer stated that people who fidget burn up serious calories in simple exercises like tapping fingers or jiggling legs. I came to understand that the very fact that I was unconsciously increasing my activity level after having a big meal was saving me from getting fat. It was all in my genes. I was more than glad to read that article. I mean, being called Chakc-hake, or Hantakali is much better than being labelled a Motay, a jumbo. God has given me a sweet little fidgeting gift to overcome the ill-effects of over-eating, just as he has gifted the shrew the ability to eat flesh three times its body weight each day to keep going its whopping 600-pulses-per-minute heartbeat and high rate of metabolism.

Moreover, fidgeting has enhanced my mental vigilance. Being busy with something or the other has barred me from engaging in any idle thoughts and has made me inquisitive. I can come up with good ideas and smart plans at the right time and win accolades from everyone. When you can become restless and thus healthy, who cares about table manners? Or do you?