MIDWAY : Ephemeral pleasures

Nabin Khanal:

People often say never reflect back on your life; it will only depress you. A pessimistic approach to life indeed, but sometimes I also succumb to it. In my case, it is neither the appraisal of achievements nor the frustrations of limitations that depress me but instead it is the ephemeral moments we exult living in. And such moments are among some of the best memories that people cherish throughout their lives.

I may sound absurd but I always wished I could somehow relive those beautiful moments of my life. The innocent childish games, the occasional tears shed on my way to school, the affectionate faces bidding me bye at the school gate, the never ending fights, the cricket matches in rain, the warm shoulders I could weep on, the caring hands guiding me even to tie my shoelaces, the loving eyes decorated with dreams and convictions for me, the teenage crushes, and needless to say those wonderful friends accompanying me all the way: all these conduce depression within me. These moments are all I have worth spicing up my life and now they have all been restricted to an abstract world of memories. Now that the present humdrum offers a more monotonous schedule, the past experiences, however trivial or fleeting, are etched in one’s memories long after they pass away.

I know bewailing over lost moments won’t help but still I found myself betwixt and between when I think about my friends. I can’t defy time but certainly it is up to me to have things as precious as friendship, always bonded. Then why aren’t all my friends around me? How would my life be if all those friends that came into my life stayed throughout with me? It is amazing how people so intimate to us one moment turn strangers in another. I have pondered over these things a lot and now I have given up. But despite my longing for their company, that is the rule of life. We meet to part but leave memories behind.

The only consolation I feel I have is that few of those who came in my life have not given up on me till now. Easier said than done, whatever happens in future, I know life goes on.

All my friends may not be around me today but every moment I have spent with them has always been special. Today they have their own life and I have my own. All I have left now are their memories which I will cherish throughout my life and deep within me, an indelible truth remains, all our friends may not help us walk throughout our life but they certainly make our journey worthwhile.