MIDWAY : Weighty questions

A curious person once asked a veterinarian, “Why are the cows so fat — 700 kg in average — even if they live only on grass?” The animal doctor humorously and succinctly answered, “because they kill nearly all their time in grazing and ruminating!” In other words, cows don’t do aerobics! What about man? Poor creature, indeed! Hardly works out more than cows do, in a sense!

And see to it: why man is fat is no longer an interesting question, even if the horizontally-challenged are increasing by leaps and bounds.

The answer to why man is fat would be a little too obvious. Therefore, cows — not men — are a puzzle for this curious inquirer.

Probably, the questioner won’t even wonder if he runs into an obese person; he already has a complete set of answers up his sleeve: junk food, saccharine drinks, all kinds of fats, including cow fat and above all — indolence!

With all these stuffs “stuffed” indiscriminately down the alimentary canal — and staying put in front of the idiot box — it’s fairly unfair to expect a “slim” man. Hence the question

on cows, and for that matter, on buffaloes, elephants, rhinos: why they are so fat even if they live uniquely on grass!

Currently, obesity is a global buzzword. It is a political agenda in many political parties’ manifestoes in many countries; log on to the cyber world and the first ad that pops

up: 5 tips to get a flat stomach (as if you necessarily had a protruding belly!); dieting is an elegant word; gyms, well-being centres and fitness paraphernalia are enjoying phenomenal success around the world, including in Nepal. All this “potpourri” and much more should exist because man needs to look slimmer than cows!

In the good old days, all men used to be slim.

And cows have seen human company for centuries.

Typically, therefore, cows have always seen a slim man.

And now, seeing the belly of man dwarfing that of an adult cow, it’s perhaps cows’ turn to wonder — and they have every right to wonder - “why is man getting fatter and fatter?” Well, man will certainly have a cow if he overhears the bovines thus wondering!