It’s inevitable, no matter what you do frustration will seep in. The only solution according to our readers is dealing with it being calm. They also believe that one mustn’t lose hope and keep expectations to minimum.

The biggest certainty of the life is uncertainty. Everything we want may not happen as we wish. Same thing has happened to me too. I can understand how it feels not being loved back. Similarly being a brilliant student till Class XII and a failure in college will obviously create frustration. Along with that, not getting proper job and not being able to fulfil the responsibility of my son demotivates me. But I realised this is how life is, with ups and downs. Watching motivational movies, having deep conversation with my close ones, and going out with friends help me when I am frustrated. So, accept what comes your way and be prepared for things to come.

— Manish Man Shrestha, Soalteemode, Kathmandu

Everyone has to face hard time in his/her life. First of all, I would take failure as a part of life no matter how many times I fail. Things do not work out as per my expectation, especially when I have been trying to get my articles published. But failure in doing so makes me frustrated.

Nonetheless, soon I realise my shortcomings in my writing such as, grammar, choice of words and so forth. Instead of becoming more frustrated, I go through my mistakes. Also I write every day, read lots of papers and magazines, watch movies, listen to songs. These are ways through which I would deal with my frustration.

— Saroj Wagle, Dumarwana, Bara

No one has been immune to desperation in life at some point or another. If one has overcome frustration at one point of time, this is not an end of the cycle as there is another one coming somewhere down the line. Hence, as life has taught me; the best way to deal with frustration is to first accept it by being truthful to self. Once one accepts that he or she is frustrated it is much easier to address the issue than keep denying it and expressing it in a negative manner.

I like using a pen and dairy to write down the causes of frustration point wise and the factors behind them. In an adjoining column I also put down the best available solution to address each point. Amazingly, I have found that this self analysis has helped a lot to understand the issues impacting my personal life and circumstances more objectively; and automatically locate solutions to address that. Of course there is no quick fix to such challenges and patience is a big virtue to overcome frustration. All great storms pass by and so does frustration. Also it is important for close family members to provide some space to an individual dealing with deep frustrations; and respect his privacy and personality. In addition, for individuals suffering from prolonged acute or chronic cases of frustrations and resulting depression and anxiety; suitable medical interventions are important and helpful.

— Saikat Kumar Basu, Lethbridge AB, Canada

As a student, I too have high expectation regarding my study as all other students. Being in medical field, I didn’t get the expected outcome no matter how hard I tried. The image I had till my intermediate level was lost, I couldn’t maintain the impression of good student to my new medical teachers. I used to show all my frustration to my parents through anger. Now, I think that as being foolish. Ups and down in my life whether it is study or failure in relationship has taught me how to deal with life. So, when I get frustrated my attempt is to fill my mind with positive things as much as possible. Expressing my opinion through question of the week in THT and seeing what I have written is also a way of relieving my frustration to some level.

— Anonymous

I don’t know how many times I have suffered this situation where my body gets stiff and heart beats so fast it almost feels as if it might come out any time and I might just collapse and never wake up again. Though this doesn’t happen, I do feel like laying down and crying my heart out before starting a new day.

In such a time I write about everything that’s bothering me and think it’s wiser than seeking someone’s support because feelings are temporary and if passed onto others they will know all my secrets. I have learnt never to trust people with

my secrets. Furthermore, dancing or doing any sort of mental or physical exercise really helps because it releases tension and makes me focused.

— Yangzum Lama, Bouddha

I’ve confronted frustration several times be it in entrance examination, low grades or failure in exams. But all the up and downs make us stronger, and give us that conviction to handle the situation. Realising one’s own weakness, sharing feelings with friends and family, listening to music help me out in such times.

— Pawan Ram Lamichhane

Time and again, I have been facing such situation in my relationship. My soulmate has a pointed nose and his anger lies on its tip. Usually, he misunderstands and gets hyper at certain circumstances. I try to talk to him and convince him that the situation is not actually complicated, but his anger stops him to listen to me or his heart.

I too sometimes get irritated, and frustrated because of this, but I don’t show my irritation or frustration to him because it may ruin our relationship. Rather I play loud music on my head phones and listen to sad songs or our old conversation, and sometimes I cry as well when situation gets worst than it should be.

— Dikshya Singh, Kalaiya

There are disappointments at work, relationships and so on. It often brings frustrations. But believing the fact that success is an iceberg with plenty of unsuccessful stories hidden underneath always motivates me to persevere. Comprehending the surrounding world and zeal to learn positive changes keeps my mind fresh and makes it ready to set new goals and achieve the target. No machine in the world is 100 per cent efficient. So, is the human machine. Best results can never be seen when the input given is lesser than the best. If we keep on working hard we surely will reach our destination because there is always a bright light at the end of a dark tunnel.

— Nisha Sharma, Kathmandu, Nepal

It’s impossible to get everything we want in our life. Our reality doesn’t always meet our expectations. From student life to work life, love life to married life, we always have the tendency to hope for better, expect more. And sometimes our hard work doesn’t get paid. Yes, we get demoralised. Yes, we feel demotivated. Yes, we get frustrated. And it’s natural.

But, it’s not always necessary to get what we expect. Sometimes we may get less than what we actually deserve, and yet it’s perfectly okay. Life is not always about single opportunity. You’ll get many more to prove yourself again. Utilise it. Show the world that you are better person today than you were yesterday and you deserve no less.

— Anonymous

There have been ample circumstances when I was shattered with my output of hard labour. Being a hard working student,when I can’t score good in the examination, it literally drags me into the cyclone of frustration. But such events

have educated me to admire my failures. More I become frustrated, more I understand my weakness and try to rectify it. I often read the biography of all those great personalities like Albert Einstein, Issac Newton et cetera who were failure and frustrated once but later shined. It fills me with self-esteem, confidence, enthusiasm and courage when I think of them.

— Sirjan Malla, Devdaha-4, Rupandehi, Khaireni

Getting frustrated for things not turning out our way is natural but it’s a result of a fool’s game played by our ego. If a person expects a stone to turn into gold but it doesn’t then it’s not the fault of the stone. The fault lies in the person for having expectations, for trying to control the outcome. Things will mostly never turn our way because manifestations in this world are not determined by a single person but that occurs through multi- dimensional mutual efforts. No one has ever been able to grasp anything in this world. So it’s a fool’s game to expect anything here. Instead, live in the moment, work hard, and love. Be like a flower, it never expects anything. It’s in its nature to blossom whether anyone appreciates its beauty or not.

— Anonymous

People can and will expect things to happen. Sometimes things go wrong. Sometimes we’ll get mad and hurt ourselves and someone else. In my personal journey of trying to be a better person, I have faced most of those frustrating situations. I remember waking up in some mornings with dim face

and staying inside the room the whole day. But after I take a break and roam around, I develop a positive vibe. Then I see myself achieving the desired outcomes. This inspires me to keep moving forward. Once, I start moving forward again, I’ll most likely find that I worried for no reason.

— Rejina Giri, Balkhu, Kathmandu

Whenever I feel frustrated, I try to take refuge in the books like The Sunlit Path, Rays of Light or White Roses. Mother says, “You who weep, who suffer and tremble, who dare not expect an end to your ills, an issue to your pangs, behold: there is no night without dawn and the day is about to break when darkness is thickest; there is no mist that the sun does not dispel, no cloud that it does not gild, no tear that it will not dry one day, no storm that is not followed by its shining triumphant bow; there is no snow that it does not melt, nor winter that it does not change into radiant spring”.

Besides such books, the nature is also there to cheer me up. Another thing I try to do to

rejuvenate myself is with the tonic of silence.

— Sujit De, Kolkata, India

Every person in this world encounters several heartbreaking obstacles and frustrations in crucial stages of their life. Needless to say, frustrations and obstacles are inevitable in anyone’s life. However, some of them know how to

break records under adversity while others breakdown.

I’ve been encountering innumerable heartbreaking obstacles in my life since my childhood. I often lose my control and temper due to financial and personal issues. Last year, I even consulted a psychiatrist in a hospital nearby. However, it resulted to no positive outcome.

Nowadays, I do not to think too deeply regarding frustrations and adversities that I face in my life. I just take it easy and accept any challenge in my day-to-day life without panicking.

— Sanjog Karki, Tansen-6, Basantapur, Palpa

Frustration is a result of lack of self-confidence and peace of mind. I try to keep my mind stable, it really helps me solve my problems, I also try to think positive and bright side of things which encourages me when dealing with frustration.

Sometimes when situation gets worse and there’s no way out, we are surrounded by frustration and that affects our working and thinking capacity. At that moment if we take out some time for relaxing and meditating we can think effectively which can solve problems. So, relaxing and meditating also helps to decrease frustration.

— Sheikh Azam, Birgunj

Life is unpredictable, so are the things that happen in our lives. We never know what is going to happen with us the next minute. Being an introvert person, the bad situation in work, study or anything else easily gets me delving into it. These situations make me panic a lot and lead to anger leading to frustration. I often get frustrated with the situation I go through. So, two things — music and crying — help me to deal with frustration. Listening to music calms me down and I just become relaxed. Similarly, I feel so good when my anger turns into tears and takes away all my frustrations.

— R@IN

We are familiar with the saying that expectation is the root cause of disappointment. So, I prefer not to expect, rather I put in my effort to ensure that things work out. However, the thing about putting an effort into any situation is that there is only a 50-50 chance that your effort will be rewarded.

Some say that it a gamble and it is necessary, and that putting effort is what counts. I beg to differ; you see, effort alone isn’t enough. With effort, one also has to keep in mind the other variables that come into play — the way your effort has been reciprocated, the consistency of your effort, the part your effort will play to achieve your personal goals, et cetera.

So, rather than getting frustrated later on it is better to consider the variables and move ahead accordingly. It saves our time, effort and resources in case we find out from the initial stage that the situation isn’t going to work out. I’ve faced such situations and learnt that it is better to analyse the mechanism of situation in the grass roots stage, rather than just going with the flow of things.

— Suyog Upadhaya, Bhimsen Gola, Kathmandu - 9

For me, frustration is a state of mind linked with disappointments because of expectations. In my opinion, every time I work hard either in relationships or work and the outputs are not as expected, it’s natural to be disappointed but I don’t waste any time on the blame game. No experience in life goes in vain. Work harder, learn from your mistakes and move on. Engage yourself in activities that strengthen and boost your self-esteem. Don’t let results and achievement be the measure of hard work, rather let your dedication and honesty define you. And even then, no one might praise or appreciate you, you yourself should pat your back and say “I am proud of you”.

— Anonymous

Whenever we have expectation from someone or something and there is deviation between our expectation and outcome, we will be in stress. Sometimes, when everything is ruined and things are not happening as per our expectation frequently, we get frustrated. When negative emotions start ruling us it makes the situation worse and we start feeling insecure about everything around us. I was in same situation few days back. However, I managed to come out of this.

Firstly, I shared about my feelings to a close friend and sought for the advice in the situation. Then, I gave more time to myself and analysed the situation in different perspective, but in a positive way. I was very charming person with positive attitude before and now I have become just the opposite. I liked the person how I was before and decided to be same again. I vowed to myself that whatever may happen, I would be just happy and I won’t let myself be ruined by negative emotions, thoughts and negative people around me. I gathered some hope and now I am very happy as usual.

— Sulochana Panta, Birtadeurali-1, Kavre

I was shortlisted in a renowned company for a new job, but due to my high salary expectations, I was not selected for the job. Later I realised only if I had requested for some middle ranged salary I would have become a senior engineer in a renowned company. When our expectation is not fulfilled we become frustrated and depressed. To become free of

frustration I usually think ‘it was not mine, and a time will come when it will be mine’. I would also try to

forget the reasons of frustrations and often practice meditation and yoga. I also go to watch movie or listen to some melodious songs to forget everything.

— Nirmal Aryal, Jitpurfedi, Tarkeshwor, Kathmandu

Even though we try our best, things do not go on the right track, which can lead to frustration and even depression. In this kind of situation, I think of positive side of the incident. I believe in, ‘Everything happens for a reason’. Those who have the guts to stand strong and look at the positive aspect of the situation always get success.

— Mukesh Basnet, Dhapasi, Kathmandu