Party-loving miser

A man is often known by the company he keeps, but I would never like to be known by one of my friends in our company. When I say so, I want to make it evident that we have no malice against each other. The chap is indeed loveable in many manners, but one of his habits makes me articulate these sentiments.

Though he comes from quite a well-to-do family, he is a man of a small heart with a large-sized pocket. Even a top-notch notorious miser will lay prostrate in front of him at some point of time.

My friend in the context is very fond of parties. Be it an engagement or the birthday of someone in the circuit, he will make an instant demand to throw a treat. Binging on all the delicacies in a ruthless manner in the get-togethers is one of his chief pleasures, but, in addition, he never hesitates to order an extra chicken variety to carry home.

To justify his act, he will always make his wife a scapegoat, and sheepishly say, “Your bhabi is very fond of chicken, so I am just playing the part of a good husband.” However, one fine day, in a casual conversation with our chicken-lover bhabi, I get the shock of my life when I am told that she is a confirmed vegetarian.

During our evening outings, this friend would often say in a flamboyant manner to us, friends make me eat something. However, this hardcore miser always tries to give the impression that he does not attach any importance to money.

He has a rich repository of fabricated stories of lavish spendings to validate his point. Most of the times, when it comes to footing the bill in a restaurant, this friend of mine has to go to answer the call of nature. He only comes out of the washroom when he is fully sure that the bill has been paid. Surprisingly, his phone will often buzz at the very sight of the waiter holding the bill in his hands.

In order to save his skin and money, he will furtively skid to a safer corner and indulge in long telephonic conversations. One fine day, when it was his turn to throw the weekly party, this janab gets a 104-degree fever. Such is his richness that he only keeps a two-thousand-rupee denomination in his wallet and thus avoids paying for our daily tea in the college canteen by saying he does not have any loose change.

Whatever the situation, this close-fisted friend clings to one belief, that body parts can go but money should not go.