Opinion

Better than you

Better than you

By SOMY PAUDYAL

Illustration: Ratna Sagar Shrestha/THT

One studies for ten to fifteen years and hopes that “Now, I will earn; now I will live my life to the fullest; I will not marry soon”. Little does he/she know that parents have different plans in mind for them. Little do they know that since they crossed the teenage years, the parents had already begun to talk with the matchmakers and relatives to find a life partner for them. Little do they realise that much of what they earn in a couple of years will be used to pay for the expensive marriage that their parents decided to have, to show off to their friends and families. Little do they know that this decision will change their life completely. Without the knowledge of these things, two young people focus on building their careers. A girl after finishing her higher education begins to work for a job that is underpaid as she is an inexperienced intern. A boy, who has just finished his education, works at some place and slowly begins to be independent financially. Not long after they have started working, some matchmaker comes and talks with their parents, saying the best bride or groom has been found in town. The parents are thrilled to hear the news and tell it to their children. Both the boy and girl refuse at first as they want to enjoy their lives on their own for some time. However, the parents and relatives put pressure on them, saying: You will never find anyone better. They begin to tell how difficult it is to find a boy or girl this perfect. They go at lengths to describe the boy and the girl’s best qualities. They make the marriage sound like a fairy tale where there will be a happy ending only if they married this one person. Fearing that they will never find anyone better, they give in and marry. A new world opens for both of them after marriage. They make compromises and move on with their lives. They, however, sometimes ponder over their lives and where they would have been if they had not married so soon and had babies. They are happy but not fully content because they have unfulfilled desires. They think about what their parents had told them at the time of marriage: “You will never find anyone better than this”. They think this over and doubt if that had actually been the case. They think that “if everybody is getting the best s/ he can find, then why are there divorce cases and unhappy marriages?” As the years pass, they dodge this thought off. They raise their kids to the best of their abilities. They engage themselves with their work and family. They, too, following their parents’ steps, save money for their children, and when their children come of age, choose the bride or groom for them and tell them: “You will never find anyone better.”