The Guardian

London, July 18:

There are two little letters which, together, spell dread and fear for office workers: HR. They like to call themselves human resources but most of us know them as human remains. Once they were called personnel. That was when every member of staff was a person and not just something to be used and discarded when they reached their sell-by date. We are all resources now, and a lot less human as a result. After several glasses of champagne at the office party, I dared to approach a rather nice member of the sub-species. I felt a tiny bit uneasy. Was I collaborating with the enemy, or just passing a few harmless moments with an off-duty colleague? I’m sure I must have confessed to a series of business misdemeanours.

Still, the evening wore on, and my enlightened friend offered to get me a drink. I felt privileged indeed. Most people only get payslips and P45s (leavers’ tax forms) from HR. Time to mingle. But would my usual frie-nds and colleagues ta-ke me back now? So many ordinary decent people have suffered at the hands of HR. I have seen numerous victims frog-marched in-to the interrogation room for post-sickness ‘return to work’ interviews. Holiday entitlements are regularly challenged. Pay increments are routinely derisory. Collectively referred to as

‘head-count’, most of us count for very little. I wonder why HR find it so easy to make working

life difficult. I’d like to think it’s all a big mistake, and I’m sure they are misunderstood. We cannot blame HR for everything, but if only there were no reason to blame anyone.