When we start out life, we are dependent on whomever it is that is supporting us. We believe they will fulfil all our needs and take care of us — forever. This does not happen.

We also feel we can do anything. Eventually, for some of us, through our life experiences, we learn to be sceptical of our ability to take care of ourselves or do the things we need to do to get on with life. And we lose our personal belief in self.

Often we lose the ability to defend ourselves because we may not trust our sense of what is going on around us or within us. We do not pay attention to the warning signs of danger that we learned in earlier life. Sometimes we get beaten down so hard that we will not stand up for our rights anymore, because we may feel that we do not have any.

We lose the belief in our ability to verbally and physically defend ourselves when anyone starts intruding in our personal life. We do not have any self-respect anymore and mostly do not respect anyone else. We do not take care of ourselves — do not care about our personal safety — and do not care about our security in life. They have no meaning — all because we have lost belief in ourselves and our abilities.

Learning to bring that positive self belief back is not always an easy task. You have to learn how to trust yourself again and know that you can make right decisions about yourself and your life. As much as a negative belief in yourself can be harmful, a positive belief in yourself can be extremely rewarding and powerful. You can start to develop positive things in your life and re-build your self-worth. You can create a positive life cycle for yourself.

You can take charge of your life and bring back three major beliefs —

1. My self-respect is worth standing up for.

2. I deserve to live and be safe.

3. I have the ability to keep myself safe.

When you fully believe in yourself and have reset your boundaries, you have strengthened your self-worth and a personal or physical attack becomes unacceptable to you. You will become a determined, strong, responsible person and know what you want that will keep you safe. You are much less likely to let any emotional or physical abuse control your life and understand these things happen and are a fact of life. You do not have to put up with that anymore. You can transform your life.