The Guardian

London

Have you heard? Tim’s resigned!” “No!” Shock waves go round the office. Even though most of us have the usual portfolio of company grudges and are often threatening resignation, we’re always amazed when someone actually does the deed. How did he manage it? The effort of swapping our comfortable day-to-day drudgery and stress for new drudgery and stress seems too much for the rest of us.

However, Tim’s post-resignation approach — smiling and cheerful without rubbing our noses in it — differs from Joe’s when he resigned. He spent four weeks walking round with a sour face and slagging off the company. He also told anyone who would listen just how much more he would be earning. He boasted about his private healthcare paid for by the new company, shorter hours and the leave-at-four-on-Fridays policy. He also said he wasn’t going to help the new appointee — why should he subsidise us by training someone else? At his leaving party, he was legless. “If you’re going to resign, resign responsibly,” urges Sophie Allen, author of The Right Career Moves. The worst thing you can do is make your resignation letter personal, giving any negative reasons why you are leaving — stay professional. Never resign on the spot and storm out, never lash the boss with some vicious home truths — the feelgood sensation lasts a very short time, and the worry lasts a lot longer.

“You are not alone if you resign today because of conflict with a colleague, or because of your workload — thousands are doing the same,” Allen counsels. “Your resignation letter is a political statement. You should begin and end with the legal details but in between offer thanks and warm wishes, no matter how you feel inside. Phrases such as ‘The decision to leave was not an easy one’, or ‘Please do let me know if I can help with a smooth change-over of responsibilities’ go down a treat. You can also thank the company for ‘opportunities, advice, coaching, guidance, inspiration, training, help, support, etc’.”

But if you go to work for a competitor, she adds, expect to be asked to leave immediately. “This isn’t personal; many companies do it as a matter of procedure. You can even begin your resignation letter — if you’ve been offered a new job by a rival firm — ‘I understand that you may want me to leave today, and I’m prepared to do that, but would still like to thank you for the opportunities you have given me.’

If you are urged to stay, think carefully. Flattering, yes, but is it just because they know they won’t get anyone else at your price? If so, use the offer as a tool for negotiating. Put in writing how much you would stay for, saying that you believe this is now a fair industry standard for the work you do. You could even coax a benefit or two, ask for health insurance or maybe more flexible hours — after all, you’ve nothing to lose as you’ve already resigned.

At your leaving party, Allen warns, do not snog anyone just because you can now. Behave as though you will be back at the office on Monday. Wish colleagues well. You don’t want to be remembered for getting horribly smashed at your leaving do, but for what you contributed.