JUST IN JEST
Love is grand, divorce is a hundred grand.
• I am in shape. Round is a shape.
• Time may be a great healer, but it’s a lousy beautician.
• Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels good.
• Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.
• Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.
• Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly and for the same reason.
• An optimist thinks this is the best possible world. A pessimist fears this is true.
• There will always be death and taxes, however, death doesn’t get worse every year.
• In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday.
• I am a nutritional overachiever.
• I plan on living forever. So far, so good.
• A day without sunshine is like night.
• It’s frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
• The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.
• Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.
• Age doesn’t always bring wisdom. Sometimes it comes alone.
• Life not only begins at forty, it also begins to show.