PEOPLESPEAK: Season of friendship never ends

Although friendships become harder to make and maintain with the complex responsibilities, routine and real lifestyle choices of adulthood, most readers agree that they are a great gift and should be treasured. True friendship, born out of appreciation of the other person, can last a lifetime and support us through life’s hardships:

When all others walk out of your life, a true friend walks in. As one matures into adulthood, not only have they to become independent but also bear responsibility to their family members. At this hour they may find life very complex and tough indeed. And this is the very time when they need advice, support and inspiration from genuine friends.

Life is a journey, not a destination. In this journey everybody needs a companion. Even after becoming a professional, making spontaneous friendships does not have to cease. Even while working at organisations, people can make friendships that will last forever. Human beings are social animals and thus they are emotional. We each possess feelings, emotions and aspirations. There are certain feelings that cannot be shared with anyone but friends. Friendship is such a type of connection in which two hearts find solace and asylum. Obligations and social barriers cannot block this connection. Thus, the ability to make friends is not cramped by any social or age factor; rather, it is spontaneous, indeed!

— Shertok Lama, Jorpati-7

As time progresses we can see changes in everything. Even friendship cannot fight time. We make lots of friends both in childhood and our teenage years. Our friendships continue growing until we reach adulthood. But when we become adults we have less time to devote to our friendships as we are going to form our own family, and home. We need to give priority to family responsibilities and duties rather than our friends. Marriage is one of the compulsory relations that block friendships more than any other. After marriage we have a spouse, children and heavy load of responsibilities. We have to struggle for our survival and to fulfil the needs of our family. We lack time to meet friends and thus to continue friendships is out of the question. We cannot cross the boundary of family duty. We work all day and then spend all night with our family. Adult life is nothing more than this. Soon we forget our friends and also forget what life was like as a youth. The same situation happens to all of our friends. Gradually, the strongest friendships melt and evaporate into the air.

— Dinesh Bhandari, Navodit Vidhya Kunj, Kathmandu.

Fate chooses your relations and you choose your friends. The reason we make less friends as we mature is people look for the advantages and benefits they can get from the friendship. It is said that friends of school are true friends, but in college all companions are competitors. So with age our perception of friendship changes. This give and take perception of friendship as a survival benefit should be avoided. Real friendships last a long time and can be valued forever with no regrets.

— Syaron Basnet

Friendship is the vital ingredient for experiencing joy and fulfilment in life. A good friend heightens happiness, lightens sorrows, provides stability during times of personal chaos, acts as a cushion when life sends harsh blows and becomes and anchor in personal storm. Inspite of the clear benefits of friendship, spontaneous friendships decrease as one matures and starts adult life. We should work to keep our friendships alive. Friendships are like a plant in a garden. They require attention, effort and nurturing. Friendships never die a natural death — they die from neglect. One should nourish friendships by having genuine interests on others, cultivating openness, expressing praise, apologising when you are wrong, and forgiving when you are hurt. Only then can we keep our friendships healthy, vibrant and blooming.

— Ashok Banjade, Carnation Centre, Koteshwor

August is the month of friendship. The fragrance of friendship is floating in the air. Children and teenagers are busy tying friendship bands with each other. But this is not seen among the adults. They are not at all interested in it. This is because adult life is full of tensions and responsibilities and so they have no time for friendship. They consider work to be the most important thing in their lives. Work leaves them no time for friendship, but they don’t care because work is dearer to them than friendship. Moreover, adults think that celebrating friendship day is just a waste of money. Children have no stress. They don’t care about money or work. Friendship is more valuable to them than anything else as they spend most of their time with friends. They are just interested in making more and more friends. And I think that when they become adult and are matured, then their thinking will also change. They will consider their work more important than friendship.

— Kripa Lopchan Tamang, Tyanglaphat, Kirtipur

To some extent the act of making friends decreases with maturity when responsibility, career and status take a more prominent role. However it also depends upon the nature of the person what situation s/he is going through at that moment in time. If somebody is frank and outrageous in nature and is always happy then he/she can still make a lot of friends. When a person matures money becomes important to maintain family and status. In this situation a person can gradually lose interest in making friends, as there is no longer enough time. New friends may be from work, and these friendships maybe more of the mind than the heart.

Generally, people decrease making spontaneous friendships as they mature, but it is better not to do so, as friends are the greatest part of our life. They bring happiness, excitement and are good company when we are going through a difficult time.

— Kaushal Timila, New Baneshwor

Close relationships that develop into lasting friendship are not related to age, sex or social status. Although modern life can provide for all our material needs, a person just isn’t happy without relationships with his fellows. Such a life is the life of a marooned sailor in the desert — meaningless. The ties of relationships with others complete the full meaning of being human. Spontaneous friendships remain constant, strong and pious, and do not change with the times. Social phenomena can change and with time one can age physically — but mutual amity sprouted from our psyches is always evergreen. It is neither immature nor aged. It doesn’t wax and wane with the moon but remains as constant as the sun.

— Rajendra Lama, Chapur, Rautahat

Friendship is an eternal bond that sprouts out of similar beliefs and selfless motives, and which matures with the increasing depth of trust and intense attachment. The ability to make spontaneous friendships is not bounded by barriers like age and maturity. Any association formed out of concerns for status rather than choice is baseless since it makes life an imbroglio where one is alone with the sham associations that are as solid as will-o-the-wisp.

A friend is someone who is loyal and affectionate to you. S/he gives comfort in desperation and supports you when desolate. Nothing is luckier than having a true friend to share joys and sorrows. Friendships help us to cherish every moment of life. The ability to make spontaneous friendships never decreases as one matures. In fact, as one matures s/he begins to understand friendship better and is more enthusiastic to make close friends. A good friendship fills a person with happiness, support and positive living.

— Sristy