PEOPLESPEAK: We need our family and pals

Our readers feel that the influences of family and friends are almost (if not) equal. One reader points out — family is needed for our ‘inner’ self, while pals help us out with our ‘outer’ self. Perhaps what all of us need most is a loving relationship with both our family and friends that is based on trust

While family is probably the most important part of our lives, pals are no less important. If family makes us feel the warmth of the hearth, company of pals fills our lives with exuberance. However, I believe that family can be more important at times. Friends help us in trouble, but one simply can’t afford to sacrifice everything for friendship. During those times, it’s only family that we can count on and it is family that influences us most.

— Lisa Gupta Sharma

When we are born, we don’t know who we are. It’s family that brings us closer to our roots. Therefore, it’s the family who influences the way we think and act. Above all, it’s the family that gives us our identity. Thus, there is no question that family influences us the most, not friends. Friends do influence us in some ways but only for a period of time until we are uncertain of ourselves. In the long run, it is family that influences young adults.

— Utsav Shrestha

The most important factor that influences a person is upbringing and not just family and friends. The way you’ve been brought up and the people surrounding you have a lot to do in shaping one’s personality. While family always stands by your side, you meet true friends only rarely. Talking about young adults, they tend to hang out more with people in similar age groups rather than their family. Hence, friends have more influence on them than anyone else. But as we grow old it is totally up to us to decide who to be with and what to do. One’s culture and upbringing is reflected in one’s behaviour. Therefore, while the early years of life is highly influenced by the family the later part is devoted to friends.

— Diva Shrestha

During this transitional phase, young people prioritise friends rather than family. However, I believe that family is equally important. It is a period when youngsters get wayward and need proper guidance and support from their families. It’s only the family who, at every step, remind them of their limits, responsibilities and show the right way. Friends on the other hand, may either be inspiring or misleading. However, choice becomes much easier with the help of the family. Thus, it’s family that young adults need to get inspired.

— Bidita Shakya

Both are the greatest influences in a person’s life. At the very early years of life, family is the one that inculcates sanskar; and helps one build his individual identity. Later, it is the choice of friends he makes that influences him. Friends might either be a good or a bad influence but if he has the right conscience, nothing can lead him off track.

— Shruti

In my view, it is friends who influence young adults. This is because they spend more time with their friends than with their family. As they grow up, they are more open to their friends than family members. They feel free to share all their problems with their friends. Thus, friends play a key role in influencing young adults.

— Sarose Bhurtel

Since most of the adults today are closer to their friends, therefore it is friends rather than families that influence most young adults. Family can be an influence on children, but rarely on adults. Adults spend most of their time in the company of their pals. They share their feelings, experiences and emotions with each other while family members become the outsiders.

— Dinesh Bhandari

In every stage of our lives, we need support and understanding whether they be friends or family. In my opinion, since adults are more open to their friends it’s natural for them to be influenced more by friends than family.

— Abhinay Jayaswal

I believe both — family and friends — play important roles in a young person’s life in their own ways. While family helps to inculcate moral standards and cultural values, friends influence their lifestyle. The ‘inner’ you is taken care of by the family, the ‘outer’ you is influenced by pals.

— Shrn

The first need of a child is family. But as the child grows, his interests change and therefore, look for different company rather than the family. As a young adult, the influence of his pals is the greatest.

— Ram Bashyal

I think family plays an instrumental role in influencing young adults. In the course of growing up psychologically, a stage comes where children imitate their peers. Parents in particular, remain a strong influence as long as children spend a substantial amount of time with them. Cultural values instilled during childhood remain embedded with them whoever they spend their time with.

— Chhabilal Chhetri

Relatively family has more influence over the young adults than friends. Every young adult looks for a friend first in the family, and only then turns to his other friends. The ersonality that one bears is the direct reflection of the family, not friendship.

— Dilip Dachhepati