Shweta Malla

Kathmandu:

Women have had multiple roles to conform to through a long period of time. A woman plays the role of a mother, daughter, wife and ardently takes out time to perform her role in the society as well. She manages all such tasks but seldom gets appreciation for her struggles. As it is not an easy task for parents to handle the pressure at work as well as give time to family, it is all the more complicated for single mothers. Yet overcoming all the obstacles, she does handle both her professional and personal life together to shape up her children’s future.

Courage under fire

Saleha Begum, 55, chairperson, Suvidha Gas Services and Industries has been working and taking care of her three daughters for more than 10 years. It was only after her husband’s demise she started working. Back then, she expressed, that it had obviously been very difficult being a single parent as she had three young girls to take care of and at the same time look after their health and education. “I also had to make it a point that they didn’t miss their father much as my eldest daughter was 16, middle one was 13 and the youngest was 10,” she said. Though she was alone she was happy taking care of the household then. However, it’s never easy for a single women and especially when she is a Muslim. “Initially there were instances when people showed their scepticism regarding a woman handling a business, which is predominantly a male preserve,” she recalls. Adding, “But I did not let any of this effect my decision to continue working. At the outset, I did get a lot of support from my brother since he helped me understand the nitty-gritties of business.” Her late husband Dr SM Tajuddin had always dreamt of seeing his three daughters become independent and successful. “The very vision of his has kept me going all these years,” she said. However, she feels that her daughters have always been the driving force of her life. Now she makes it a point to get up early morning and cook for her daughters and then leave for work. She is happy now as all daughters are grown up and are doing quite well for themselves. She feels relieved that she has discharged off her duties properly and is very content with the way things are going.

Against all odds

Life is full of challenges but very few live up to it, Neeta Sharma, patron, Rupak Memorial International School and Vicepresident of Rupak Memorial Foundation of one of them. Though she was always interested in working, it was only after her husband passed away, she got herself indulged in work. Being a single parent for the past 12 years was not an easy task for Sharma. “Living in a joint family with supportive members, however, was a great help to me, “she says. With three daughters, the eldest being only 10 and youngest only four it was a long way to go for Sharma. That was not just it, as her youngest daughter had hearing impairment and it was her dream to open up a school for children with such special needs. “Living in an orthodox society, there were obligations put before me but I got over them, as I knew what I wanted and was confident enough to stand by my decisions,” she said. She feels that the best thing was that her family members were very supportive and she could always rely on them as she had full faith in them. Knowing about the problems of the hearing impaired, she was focused when it came to her dream to work for them as she knew her child also faced the same problem. “I started a school to provide formal education to those children with hearing impairment and it was quite challenging as it was the second school apart from the one at Naxal,” she said with a proud smile. “It is not an easy task to teach such children as they cannot express themselves and many a time don’t understand what one is trying to relay to them.” Recalling her past she says that it had not been easy then but things were fine now. “The ups and downs in life are obvious and one has to learn to cope up with it,” she says.

Fighting back

I started working 13 years before he passed away so it was not really a problem when I got myself busy with work later,” says Ranju Aryal, Housekeeping, Hyatt Regency haughtily when asked about the obligations faced when opted for work. With the sudden demise of her husband, Aryal was left to take care of a son, 19 and daughter, 14. It was not a difficult thing for Aryal to work later but she laments that because she got so involved with the work that she managed to give little time to her children. “Financial burdens really increased as before my husband and me, we together worked for our family. Being alone does affect you a lot as as one needs to work harder.” She firmly believes that life is a challenge and one has to live

by it. Remembering the obstacles she faced to start working she said that she had initially come across problems when she chose to enter the hotel industry. “People used to talk earlier but now they have stopped,” she says smiling. Courage wins.