One reason for the steady rise in the divorce and separation rate in Nepal is that some husbands and wives belong to the same profession says a recently conducted survey. Ironically, that might have brought them together in the first place. A couple might believe that being in the same line of work would lead to a better understanding within the marriage. This applies more to occupations that are very demanding such as medicine, or other vocations that have odd hours of work or are offbeat and unconventional.
The schisms in such marriages are easily smoothened out the minute the wife gives up her vocation, either on her own volition, by reason of the pressures placed on her, or because her social conditioning has taught her to place marriage before work.
Vocations like medicine, theatre, films, modeling, public relations and advertising, etc, are a few that create a distance between couple when both are in the same one.
It takes time for the Nepali men and women, conditioned by patriarchy over hundreds of years, to cope with the reality of a women rising above her husband in the same occupation. This is a relatively unknown factor that could work against a good husband-wife relationship.
Sweeping generalizations on this subject would be unfair to those women who stick to their guns despite being married after having achieved success in their respective careers. This seems to work fine with many of them. But if one probes a bit deeper, one will discover that married couple, when each partner is extremely successful in his or her respective career, works well when both are in different professions.
But if the couple happens to be in the same profession and each vies with the other for fame, success and power then this often leads to heartbreak, separation, divorce and lonely lives for both, when they are old, tired and desperate for company.
Can a couple in the same profession ever rejoice sincerely when one of the partners surges ahead?
The answer is in the positive, but one has to accept his/her profession for whatever they are worth and manage to keep them out of their personal life then such problems never arise at all.
Conjugal bliss vs profession
Published: 05:29 am Nov 03, 2009