The reluctant caregiver dilemma is positioned to spread like a cancer as our population is living longer. More and more people increasingly face caring for aging parents, their own mortality and need for healthcare, along with the care of their children, friends, and co-workers. “The luckiest ones are able to do that with their parents, but that’s rare,” said Baker. “Most of the time, you’re going to face some pretty heavy spiritual and emotional baggage through the experience of caregiving.”

Even when we’ve experienced a change of heart in giving care to an elderly relative where the loving was not so visible, the reluctant caregiver syndrome spills over to the sibling front, where family members are stuck repeating childhood conflicts and having those conflicts turn into a war on how best to care for mom and dad, according to Kevin O’Connor, a pastoral counselor at Loyola University in Chicago.

What’s more, caregivers of parents or relatives who haven’t been loving can feel especially isolated, said Lori Ovitz, author of Facing the Mirror With Cancer. For all caregivers — unexpected, reluctant, or no matter what the situation, caregiving is a role that is learned along the way.

“We learn that caregivers come in many different forms, that there is no right way to care and that if we can take care as well as give it and make peace with the experiences along the way, it can be a transformative journey,” said Cole. — Beliefnet.com (Concluded)