CREDOS : Moment of truth — I

I had offered the refuge of my home to a man who had just been just released from prison. Unknown to me, the prison he had been incarcerated was one of the most notorious in Europe. He had been confined there for several years. As the days passed, it became clear that this man had both witnessed and participated in such extremes of experience that he had become dangerously unstable, if psychopathic.

To make matters even more unsettling, his mental balance deserted him as darkness fell each evening, turning gradually after dawn. This meant that sleep during the night was usually impossible; and after a week or two of this harrowing routine, I began to feel that my own sanity was becoming somewhat blurred around the edges.

One night, events reached a climax. He grabbed the curtains and tried to set them on fire with his cigarette lighter, announcing that it was our destiny to die together in the flames. It was at this point that I put out a silent call to my guardian angel to come to my aid.

Shortly afterwards, his mood changed and his attitude became more normal. He was able to set out on a long healing journey from that point (necessarily, away from my home!) which culminated in a desire to help others trapped in similarly dark places of the soul.

The incident I have described was so dramatic, traumatic and transformative that what I sensed actually took place after I made my desperate call. —