My husband and I fell into this trap when we envied our next-door neighbours for being better-off; when I got bold enough to ask them about their money, it turned out they had a heap of credit card debt and anxiety about it.

Since we keep our money issues so hidden, we end up living in a fiction and wondering why “nobody else” shares our problems. When we have only clues and guesses to go on, we work ourselves into psychological pretzels over money and how we’re fitting in with those around us. In fact, we are miscalculating.

Another pitfall is that when we don’t see what’s going on behind the scenes with others’ finances, some of us — like the Florida family — use debt to try to keep up with those who appear so much better off. More honesty and openness would help prevent this.

I don’t think we can underestimate the amount of stress and anxiety over money that we are enduring largely alone. Changing how we manage money is only part of the solution. The large social side also has to change, and that means breaking the taboo.

Be braver when it comes to money. When you have a concern, go ahead and make honest comments, ask questions, start a discussion. When I did this while researching my book, I was amazed and relieved at how people opened up about their situations.

And if you’re in a position of leadership, speak up about money and encourage others to do

the same. — Beliefnet.com (Concluded)