Why is writing essential? Because only by thinking about the solutions can we do this exercise. We are so overwhelmed by the emotions generated by our problems that we are never dispassionate about things that are likely to affect us.

Hence, we fail to be rational in analysing our own problems. And the human mind is so creative that we are able to imagine problems that do not exist at all. However, when we start writing all that we think and feel, we are able to think more clearly and rationally. Writing helps in crystallising our own thoughts. Only then can we segregate the factual from the imaginary, the material from the emotional.

When you do this experiment for the first time, I recommend that you take a friend’s help. It may be difficult to do it alone. A friend can tender good advice, guide you in pinpointing the relevant issues, keep you focused, and help with solutions, which you may not be able to think of yourself. A partner always acts as a sounding board. He echoes your own words, so that you can listen to what you are saying. This helps in clearing your own thoughts.

However, it should be ensured that the friend is not emotionally attached to you or your problem, because this has to be a cold intellectual exercise you do, as if the problem that you are going to analyse is not your own problem. For this reason, your spouse may not be the best person, as s/he would never be able to think dispassionately. —The 4-Lane Expressway to Stress Management (Concluded)