Let go of regret
Our readers believe, everyone regrets in life, but rather than living with regret, one should learn from it and move on
One incident of my life makes me regret every moment in my life. I was in high school and I was the first boy in our class. There was a naughty boy Prakash in our class. He used to to ruin the class’ environment. So, some of my friends and me filed a complaint against him. He was penalised by the college administration. However, Prakash didn’t change and got worse than before in his deeds at class. Then he dropped out of college after sometime. Time passed by and our result was published after seven months.
I topped the college and I was so happy. But to my surprise, the first person to congratulate me was Prakash. During the gap, he had gone to Malaysia for foreign employment. He called me and apologised for everything he had done previously. It seemed he had realised his mistakes. However, I could not forgive him then. I hung up on him. One month later, he died in a traffic accident. Listening to the news, I felt like a sinner who had committed a grievous crime in life. I felt that I should have forgiven him that day. Even today, my heart cries when I recall those bygone days. Nevertheless, I learnt a lesson to forgive others in case they realise
their mistakes.
—Robin Membang, Koteshwor
It was the summer of 2011. I had just completed my Intermediate level from Radiant Higher Secondary School, Mahendranagar and I was wondering about my future. Due to my weak financial status, I couldn’t afford to study any of the technical subjects. However, I was considering of appearing for entrance exam of Pulchowk Engineering College. On the other hand, I was also thinking of pursuing BSc in a local college as an alternative.
Finally, I chose to step out of my home and headed for Kathmandu to study engineering. Now, I think that if I hadn’t dared to take that step, I would have regretted throughout my life for not trying. I thank god for giving me that courage four years ago which has made me a civil engineer today.
— Nav Raj Paneru, Patandhoka, Lalitpur
Couple of years ago one of my relatives passed away due to cancer. He was previously suffering from jaundice but we did not give it much attention. We thought it was normal and didn’t consult any doctor but treated him at home hoping for recovery. But his condition worsened. So, after 15 days of his sickness, we took him to a hospital. He was diagnosed with last stage of duodenum cancer which had spread to other organs. And if he had been taken to the hospital on time, he could have been treated. This is the biggest regret in my life.
— BR Khatiwada, Ithari
As a medical doctor, I have to deal with a lot of situations in which we do not know whether doing something or not doing anything will do any good. Such complex situations arise frequently. But in this matter of dilemma, I always choose to do something novel that is beneficial. If it works, it becomes a discovery and if fails, it becomes a lesson to learn.
One such incidence was of an old gentleman coming with history of urinary retention following bicycle accident. I suspected urethral injury but in that situation no consultant was available. In the dire emergency, I drained out the urine by aspirating the bulging belly with a syringe. Later the consultant applauded me for my effort to prevent bladder rupture in that patient. This experience boosts my zeal to do something than doing nothing in various situations occurring in my life.
— Dr Inclub Dhungana, Manipal Teaching Hospital, Pokhara
One thing that I regret in my life is that I just had a single goal during college — to get good grades. I didn’t try hard in high school, and did a decent job. I couldn’t get the best scores. Do I regret it? Sort of! I had the time of my life — not putting much time on my studies besides surfing Internet and just completing some of my college assignments. I only put in the required few hours to tests and exams and achieved what I wanted. As a result, I fairly cruised through college. I came with that lazy approach and it really has affected me now. Lackluster GPA of mine led to difficulty in getting scholarships for studying my undergraduate level. Now, I feel like I wasted the rest of my time not putting much effort on my studies and also not focusing on my career goals. I have made my share of mistake. I hope some people might learn something from my experience.
— Anonymous
People do regret those things they have done in their life and also regret those things that they haven’t. In fact, not every step we choose leads us to the right path. We may regret why had we chosen such a path or why we had not chosen the alternative. We face these situations frequently in our life. Likewise, I regret doing and not doing many things in my life. Among them is joining my friends for medical entrance preparation class even though I hadn’t any interest in the subject. Instead of wasting time and money in the thing I wasn’t interested, I should have gone for computer courses. It would have been beneficial for me.
— Sujata Bajracharya, Gongabu
We all have regrets and we all make mistakes in our life but that doesn’t mean we are wrong or we are less than anyone else. We all make mistakes and the main point of mistakes is to learn from them. If we never make mistakes, we would never learn. I still remember getting bad grades in exams due to lack of effort from my side. And I used to blame my luck for my failure. If only I had realised it a bit sooner, I would have obtained good scores. But it is better late than never, I have realised my mistake.
— Shreyas Sapkota, Kathmandu
The only regret I have is that I don’t have control over my anger though it is harmful. Unless we don’t have full control over our anger, we won’t be able to become a great person. It is anger which makes a person violent, cruel, strict and even emotionless. When we are furious, we forget who we are and what we should do, ultimately regretting for something we should not have done. To succeed and march ahead in our life, we must conquer our anger no matter how tough it is. As a matter of fact, I’m also trying to control my anger so that I will not have to regret of my doings later on.
— Pratik Shrestha, Buddhanagar, Baneshwor
The word ‘regret’ isn’t in my dictionary. Currently, I am studying BSc out of my mother’s interest. But I’ve decided to quit BSc at the last stage and chase my dream to become a famous writer despite the challenges. After all these, I have no regret of my actions.
— Sanjog Karki, Tansen, Palpa
I have many things to regret, about the things that I have done in the past. Not realising the value of time is one. I have spent my precious time doing nothing. Now, I have started to understand time’s value and I stopped wasting time. I hope there won’t be any thing in my future that I would regret about.
— Yogesh Dhungana
Most of us have some regrets. But if we start regretting about something we did, we will miss chances where we can do best. If you start to regret about your failures, you will be discouraged and you will miss your chances to showcase your potentials.
For instance, I was thinking to send an article to ‘Question of the Week’ last week but I procrastinated and couldn’t send the answer at the end. This incident has taught me a lesson of punctuality. So, now I am sending this article as early as I can because I regretted it last time.
— Milan Aryalm, Kirtipur
There are many things that we would like to do them again, to get best output but time doesn’t wait for anyone. If I have any regret, then it is Chinese Language Test that I missed. When I didn’t get Chinese Language Certificate, I realised the importance of the test.
— Abhinay Jayaswal, New Baneshwor
I really like a girl and I thought about proposing to her. I proposed to her but her answer was ‘No’. She wasn’t angry about it and refused my proposal in a nice way. Now, I regret of proposing to her. Instead I should have become good friend with her.
— Ravikant Yadav, Bara
We make mistakes and it’s called learning. We can at least be satisfied that we had an experience even though we might regret them. There is a bellicose lady dwelling in my vicinity. She has issues with everyone every now and again. Once, she and I had argument on a very childish thing. She started to bully me but I wasn’t one who would cow easily and as a result the argument turned into a quarrel. Till date, I regret of speaking rudely to her as she is much senior to me. Also, we should never argue with such monomaniac people because when you argue with a fool, it proves that there are two.
— Ananya Mishra, Balkhu
Regret is the consequence of a leisure brain. As you go on remembering your past, you may find mistakes in some of your activities. As you think more, it occupies your brain and may ruin your life. But past is gone and it is out of your control. So, don’t think about it. Such negative thinking results in frustration and unhappiness. So, keep yourself so busy that your brain would get no chance to think even about yourself. If you have done anything wrong in the past, then try to rectify it. No one makes mistakes knowingly. Try to concentrate on your work to minimise future mistakes. So, only think about how to perform well in the future.
— Kamal
Whatever we do in our lives we will surely regret one way or another in future. If we study without doing job, we will regret for not making money. If we drop out for opportunity of making money, we will again regret for not studying and furthering academics. If we fall in love, we will regret for wasting our time. If we don’t fall in love, we will regret for being unable to impress girls…
In my case, I regret for not going abroad after completing my higher secondary
education. I had thought, it was not time to go abroad then and that I was not mature enough to go there. Even if I had gone there, I might have regretted for getting away from friends and family. I guess, it’s better to regret something we have done than something we haven’t, for we have no choice without regretting our decisions whatever we make.
— Sagar Dhungel, Kandaghri, Kathmandu
I studied in a private school where English is given priority. I didn’t take Nepali subject seriously. I thought English language would come handier. When I reached to Bachelor IInd Year, I was interested to apply for government job and saw the importance of Nepali language. For me to apply for that job, I was compelled to study and focus on Nepali language which I have always ignored. It was my fault that I didn’t give priority to Nepali language. So, instead of regretting, I am correcting my mistake by developing my command over Nepali language, especially in writing.
— Anonymous
I am an average man with average qualities. I love doing all the things an ordinary person loves to do. I love playing games, singing, dancing, spending time with family members and friends. I become happy when loved by others and hate them who hate me. But, I am straight forward kind of guy due to which I am unable to get the companionship from my friends. I could have become happier and my life would have become easier and comfortable in company of my friends. Now, I think, life could have been fun if I had treated them little softly and cared for their feelings little more. So, this has become a lesson for me. I regret the way I used to treat my friends and it actually has taught me the way of living life as said by Martin Luther King Jr, ‘Life’s most persistent question is, what are you doing for others?’
— Rajan Prasad Dhakal
An incident is still fresh in my mind that took place a couple of months ago, that I regret about. I really admire the helping habit of my parents. I tried to do the same but I got in a difficult situation. I helped one of my classmates despite being stopped by some of my friends. This brought a tension between my friends and me. We didn’t talk for a week. And I had started regretting because I couldn’t get the moral support of him at the time of need. As the day passed by, I started to feel the same comfort from my friends again. This brought some sort of relief to me.
Even though that move made me regret of my doings then, I have been motivated now. We should never
think about the outcome when we do things.
— Bishal Sah, Murli Bagaicha, Birgunj-15
In the early days of college life, I was a bit shy. It discouraged me to participate in discussions. This turned out to be a bad habit in my life. Later on, I realised that presentation skills and communication skills are really essential to convey message. Due to this, I have regretted on how I used to be in that part of time.
— Saroj Wagle, Dumarwana, Bara
In the course of life many chances could be missed, many opportunities could be lost because we are not able to make everything in our own favour. Previously neglected things could be the most important things in the future. As a result, we start to regret something that we have done in the past and something we have not. There are many things I did in my past that make me feel bad even today. For example, I feel really bad about treating some people poorly when I was younger, but being able to reflect on that has made a better person today. I regret not pursuing certain relationships in my past though. I also regret not being open to other opportunities that I could have experienced in my life.
— Diwas Dhakal, Phaparthum-4, Syangja
I think regretting that one never did something seems worse than doing something and failing. Even I have regret for not doing something. I regret that I didn’t engage myself in extra-curricular activities in school. There were opportunities that everyone gets in school that I didn’t take. I think I have missed all sorts of interesting stuffs. I skipped all of that. Today, it seems it would have been great fun but now I have only regrets.
— Shubham Agrawal, Kolkata, India
Like everyone, I have a fair share of regrets for doing certain things and not doing many things in life. However, I have no regrets in rejecting a huge loan that was offered to me on a silver platter from an investor in Singapore. Somehow, I was not at ease when this guy made an offer to me. He was offended, but I am totally at peace with myself. The reason is
big investments in this country can cause you a lot of losses and subsequent grief. This country is simply not for big business and investment. At the end of the day, I would have had to pay back the money with interest.
— Manohar Shrestha, Kathmandu