We have all heard about various battles and battlefields, from the mythical Kuruchhetra in the Mahabharata to the ongoing confrontation in southern Lebanon.

Few among us, however, might have realised that kitchens too may routinely turn into battlefields once a while.

And our kitchen is no exception. “Too much fat!”, grimaces my grandpa at the culpable cook, “you know it’s bad for my liver.” “But bittergourds need oil, grandpa!” rebuts the stubborn cook, hardly subduing the aged ire.

“Good heavens! And why did you mix potatoes with green beans?”, whines grandma, adding that diabetics are not supposed to eat potatoes. “I’ll separate the beans at once”, assures the bemused cook, which was not nearly enough to douse her discontent.

Fussiness with food is a universal trait, a cosmopolitan etiquette. Regardless of the cook’s quandary, there is much hue and cry about the food quality round the dining table.

This food, too spicy for dad’s tummy. That, too insipid for the son’s taste. A tad too salty for the mom, too bland for the daughter. Ya, sure. One doesn’t live to eat, right?

The biggest troublemakers in kitchen? Kids, of course, with their torrent of ifs and buts. “I’ll eat only if you tell me a story,” demands a tot.

In excess of 7,00 stories a year. Good grief, indeed! And their list of demands or “consenting” to gobble: the latest Bollywood flick, a new video game, ice cream, the latest Harry Potter tome. You name it.

Taking into account such varied tastes in a family, it is not surprising at all to witness kids go hammer and tongs at the poor cook, very often a family member himself. Moreover, the little imps throwing away hard-cooked foodstuff is not exactly showing the cook due gratitude.

In a nutshell, fussy eaters, at all times, are the most difficult lot to please under the sun. No matter how well the food is cooked, they have to dig up some excuse to vent vile at the poor cook. Rather than enjoying the food, they seem more concerned with getting at the ladle-wielders on one pretext or another. But they seldom win. For who is the eventual loser in the end? The nitpickers themselves.