MIDWAY : Struggle for existence

Does it make any sense? All the wars raging around the world, thousands dying each day of AIDS, malnutrition, disease, if nothing else, in freak accidents? Is it even worth living amid all the chaos and violence? Prolonging our meaningless lives — for what?

There was a hue and cry following the restoration of democracy through the April revolution. A number of Nepalis had lost their lives during the course of the pro-democracy protests. The upshot? Constant bickering between political parties for a place in the sun, the shameless tug-of-war for power. Not even the smoke has settled and this! What a shame!

If the blood of our brave-hearts doesn’t matter, maybe nothing else does. We are all products of random chances, thrown into this chaotic world at a random time. In other words, meaningless, our lives. In the hustle and bustle of modern times, all our efforts seem akin to Sisyphus’s toil up the mountain. Why, for what purpose? Why not give in to Camus’ call for the most gallant of all human deeds, suicide? Wait!

As I patter the keyboard and as words conjure up on screen I cannot help feeling that what I write makes some sense. Why am I writing, after all? For a ‘purpose’, obviously. Think! Doesn’t ‘everything’ we do have some purpose? Breathing, blinking, brushing, bawling, brooding, boasting — you name it. Can anyone name an activity that does not serve a purpose? Everything we do is aimed at ‘causing’ a particular outcome. We press the sod to move ahead, eat to stay alive, explore outer space to douse our curiosity. Isn’t it fascinating that even the smallest of our efforts does not completely go to waste? Newtonian science or not, every action does have a reaction. Yes, it matters. To different people, in different ways. But matter it does.

For me, the world has always posed countless challenges. I punch and parry, duck and dart, and manage to stay afloat, somehow — anyhow. It matters that I put in my bit, throw my punches before the lights are out. For I know they will have consequences. Some small, others big. Venturing into the unknown makes my life meaningful, for these jaunts present countless challenges. Life becomes a struggle. I like it that way.