Double the happiness: Two’s better than one, definitely

Home is a school and family is the teacher before a child goes to school. A person’s attitude, behaviour, perception and way of thinking reflects his/her personality, which s/he learns from family members. Each and every child wants care, good company, encouragement, support and love. They expect it from family members and of course, from friends. One can have hundreds of friends but one may not be lucky enough to get a friend who is always willing to be there and help during all the ups and downs. There is no relation as pure and strong as ‘blood relations’. A friend can misguide you, betray you and disturb you from reaching your destiny and success but your elder brothers and sisters always care about you, support you and guide you whenever one needs them. They are the ones who get tense just because their siblings are in trouble and this is only because you are part of their life. So, I think a child needs siblings to grab the opportunity to learn, lead and succeed.

— Rajani Maharjan, Kantipur Valley College

Quality time is more precious than quantity for rearing children. Presently, it is almost impossible to give sufficient emotional and financial support to more than one child. A child needs siblings for emotional support and in other ways but eventually they make friends on whom they can depend on to share their inner most feelings. One has to work hard to be able to give better home for their children. But if one cannot give quality time during their child’s young age, then what is the use of having more than one child just for the excuse of the child missing siblings and a bigger family to count on in the future? Who knows about the future? It is true that blood is thicker than water, but what if the blood thins out due to squabbles and bickering?

It is tough to bring up more than one child without strong family support and at times outside help might also be needed, which is scary these days due to kidnapping. To guarantee a good life to the child and peace of mind for yourself it is better to opt for a single child.

— Uma Shah, USA

Having one child is surely not the perfect option. It is just a simple way for parents to escape from the challenges even without facing them. Parents may be opting for a single child probably because they are unwilling to work hard so as to earn money for raising their children. As far as I have understood things in my life, a child needs his/her siblings. When a child becomes a teenager s/he can share things with siblings that s/he will not feel comfortable to share with parents. Moreover sometimes disasters may happen in any family where a child may lose his/her parents. In such a situation it would be a Herculean task for a child to face the whole world alone. However, it does not mean that parents have to give birth to too many children, which might create another problem. So, bearing two children would be the best option that would be appropriate for both parents and children.

— Bimal Bastola (Billu)

n Due to the demand of long working hours at office, couples are worried about the time they will have for their children in future. Furthermore, education and health services have become so expensive that couples need to think twice of having two or more children. Children definitely love to have siblings to play with and to fight as well. But, keeping in mind the ‘quality of life’ and the ‘standard of living’, it does seem that having one child is the perfect option. Rather than giving birth to many children, parents can adopt orphans if they want more children

— Cool Cristofer, Lake Side

The time factor of parents has been very complicated due to change in working lifestyle of parents. In this situation, it is ideal to have one child because parents can give proper attention and care to their single child. It is also true that the child will also miss the opportunity of having siblings and a bigger family. In some cases, child may feel lonely and unhappy. But to evade such situation parents should spend enough time with their child besides their working schedule focusing into their child’s emotional growth. They must spend time with their child involving themselves in extra curricular activities in order to make their only child happy emotionally. In this situation, time management is the important factor. If such things are taken care of well by parents then it will obviously lead to a qualitative life.

— Swoniga Shakya, Dhalko

I think it is wise to opt for one child, as today’s lifestyle is very demanding and challenging. I appreciate the decision of couples who choose to have just one child irrespective of the sex of the child. Couples opting for one child also help minimise gender discrimination in society, which has been deeply rooted in the mind of Nepalis for centuries. We are aware of the fact that cost of living is sky rocketing every passing year making it difficult for families to manage basic essential commodities. If parents prefer to have just one child, then they can afford almost all the basic needs and also other subsequent desires. The child will be entitled to receive quality education which is what most parents should provide and ensure bright and secure future of a child. True, the child will miss the company of siblings but that does count much as s/he can have friends in school or neighbourhood. But I don’t think that a child should have siblings in order to keep loneliness at bay. And we must not count on this such a defunct notion. Yes, a single child will have total parental focus on all aspects of his/her life.

— Ranju Shrestha

n Most working parents these days choose to have a single child. They claim that single child is taken care well and parents need not have to undergo financial constraints while educating them. This is not a bad idea and sounds enchanting too. However, it is not justifiable to snatch away the right of a child who yearns to have siblings. Parents who put forth the idea of having a single child should not forget that childhood is a very critical phase of life. The kind of life parents give to a child at this phase can have greater impact in his/her future and overall personality. A child brought up in an environment where there are no siblings often finds it difficult to socialise. In the absence of siblings, a single child does not get an opportunity to share his/her feelings and emotions and there is possibility of such a child being an introvert. Money may buy comfort and luxuries but not happiness that a child gets being with siblings. In my opinion two for two makes family ideal and perfect.

— Ambika Pandey,

Chitwan

There are a lot of factors that affect the decision as to how many children to have. Since couples work outside the home, they usually prefer not to have many children. A couple with a large number of children cannot enjoy life due to economic burdens and loss of leisure time. But they can give better education and other facilities if they have only one child. However, single child cannot experience the happiness of having siblings. The need of friends is fulfilled by siblings. Children learn socialising from home if they have siblings. So, parents should opt for the number of children as per their capacity.

— Shiva Ram Khatiwada

In this competitive world, there must be a companion for a child within the family members who can be inspiring, encouraging and who can guide towards right direction. It is better for parents to opt for more than one child but only if they have the capacity to rear them equally and care emotionally. Siblings can better understand emotional feelings of each other, as they are closer than their parents. As far as lifestyle is concerned, parents who can meet demanding lifestyle of a child can easily look after another sibling as many of the things can be shared among the two. Moreover, lifestyle does not only mean branded clothes and good food but it largely depends upon emotional well being of a family member.

— Saugat Pokhrel

n It’s true that time is changing. Many people are busy with their jobs and have less time to give to their family. Moreover for working parents it is difficult for them to take care of their babies unless they have other supporting hands. Sometimes, parents are unable to give first priority to their family, as they have to work hard to earn a living. In such cases, having single child can reduce pressure on those parents.

But concerning the future of a child, having siblings would be fruitful in a nuclear family. Siblings stand as moral support for each other and they also can learn many things together. Having siblings is like having best friends at home who can help each other in many steps of life. A family with siblings is motivated towards discipline. Sometimes it’s easy to understand each others feelings and act accordingly when parents might have been wrong. Furthermore, it would be easy for a family to take bigger decisions in future about family prospects - financial and other matters.

— Sudarshan Dhakal, Pokhara

n I think that in this modernised world people have made a habit of appreciating loneliness as a good friend. Due to the busy schedule parents cannot give enough time to their child. But if child has siblings they have the opportunity to share their feelings and will keep them away from the grief of loneliness. Yes, I agree that due to price hike in the goods we consume and family planning system couples want to have only one child but only giving facilities and fulfilling their basic necessities cannot be enough for a child. They need a friend to share their curiosity, agony, happy stories and since they are alone they will not be able to express it. They would feel lonely in the crowd and such a child cannot be mentally healthy. I am not implying that parents should give birth to a large number of children but at least they should have two children, in a gap of around five years. When the child needs help, the first help comes from his/her nearest and dearest ones, brothers and sisters will always be near to their siblings. When we have a sibling we can laugh, fight and share everything with them.

— Khusbu Sewa, NIC

n I think having one child is the perfect option for working parents. It will be easy for them to take care of that child and give the child ‘quality life’. When a family has many children, there are many chances that parents tend to remain indifferent to their children’s demands. Children are easily malleable but if neglected can lead their life beyond the control of parents and probably in wrong path. Although some argue that a child will miss opportunities of having company of others, I think the best way to learn about life is through personal experiences. Who we are going to be depends on our own techniques and qualities. Thus, I think it is risky to opt for many children. Rather, one should let a lotus grow and parents should just nurture for its growth.

— Saroj Nepal

Raising either one or more children, I think the task is equally difficult. Therefore, a child should be allowed to have at least one sibling. It would be selfishness of the parents to deprive the child of such a companion just because they are too busy. And of course, even in the future it will not only be the child who will enjoy the benefits of a larger family. Even the parents will experience the bliss of living in a family with children all around.

— Rhea Gurung, Maharajgunj

Life is indeed very demanding nowadays both in terms of family and finance. Quality of life is very important than quantity for better and happier future of the child. This can only be achieved by having one child. If you have one child, you can give better care, love and upbringing with low cost. Further, working parents would not be able to devote enough time for more than one child as mother has to give up her career for the sake of her child. Being single, the child becomes more independent, confident and a better judge of things. Although without siblings, a child will have friends and relatives which will definitely create the habit of team spirit. Most importantly, in the context of Nepal, where there is no sufficient water, electricity, fresh air, income and security, having single child is the perfect option. Lastly, having single child will also contribute towards controlling population.

— Regmi Siris, Bhaisepati