peoplespeak: Everyone needs a shoulder to cry on

Sufferings are unavoidable. Everyday we are suffer in different ways. When Siddartha Gautam saw people’s sufferings, he went into meditation, got enlightened and worked for the uplift of mankind. Besides meditation there are other ways too, we can even take things in our hands. Just believe that we go through tough times only because of our karma. So, why not make our own karma. In my case, everyday, as soon as I wake up, I order my mind to be neutral in those moments when I am stressed, dominated, attracted to other people, failed or when I achieve success during the day, so my state of mind is maintained. At times when nothing goes right I remember, the steps I took in the past. Memories of past achievements do help greatly in this matter. Lastly, to make my life a bed of roses, a great feeling that arouses within me, ‘I am the master creator, no worldly sufferings can affect me.’

— BK Vaskar

If life goes wrong, I try to solve it. If it doesn’t work, I leave it to God or let it be till it gets all right again. I do try whatever I can to make the situation better but there are some things which I have no control over. I deal with those with time alone in silence, maybe a prayer or two. I take a walk or listen to some good music. If I have to let it all out, I call up a friend or write it down. A good night’s sleep and also a good cry actually helps. When I am down, I try to focus on something else that is lighter or helps uplift my mood. It is like watching things through rose-tinted glasses instead of weeping over the thorns.

— Rhea Gurung, Maharajgunj

There are times when the road we walk is rough, the clothes we wear are torn and we are lost somewhere in this wicked world all alone. All of us have to go through tough times. In such situations we must be able to compromise our happiness, tolerate the pain and adjust with time. However, we should always keep in mind that it is just a part of our life and will end one day. To deal with tough times, I read good books, pray to God, watch movies and simply try to convince myself that everything will be fine.

— Abhilasha Rayamajhi

Life is not always easy, it is full of challenges, compromises, sorrow and pain. We must deal with whatever comes our way. For me tough times are like road bumps, they slow you down a bit but we enjoy the smooth road afterwards. Whenever something happens to me, good or bad, I consider what it means to me. I think, there is a purpose to life’s events, to teach me how to laugh at good times and not to cry at tough times. So, I just sit tight and try to be happy, thinking God has thought of something better to give me.

— Mer Gurung

It is a universal truth that life is never a bed of roses. It is full of mysteries that astonish us now and then. It is a fact and we have no other way than to accept it. Obstacles are part of life and as sure as death. I keep these words in my mind and walk through the obstacles. Self-confidence, self-determination and conscience have always helped me get out of my obstructions. They are my true assets and have been protecting me from being ruined. In my view, it is love and affection of our dear ones that hold us up when we are taken aback. When I see my family being happy in my success, it really motivates me during my hard time. The support of my beloved works as a miracle that propels me to move further through thick and thin. Love is a heavenly gift that is superior to all remedies.

— Jeewan Gosai

n It is obvious that life consists of joys and sorrows in two equal halves; it is also true that when we are suffering, we feel as if we are the only ones who are suffering. But the fact is that everyone suffers, but it is important to know how to get out of such suffering and pain. I really don’t think there is any scientific way of getting rid of everything, but what I simply do is that I scold the person who is responsible for my pain. Friends are always there beside us, so sharing our pain with good friends who at least understand what happened to you, we can get relief from our tensions. Most of the time when I cry a lot, I really feel relaxed. After that I get so many reasons that makes me realise that I am the best, what happened to me was nothing and there are so many options that I can choose from. The main thing is that I can search for options every now and then so that nothing hampers me in the long run.

— Sharmila Khatiwada

Life on the earth is a cycle from birth till death, where a person lives and experiences many things. Life at times goes smoothly, and at other times moves roughly up and down. We feel like we are on the top of the world when we achieve what we want. On the other hand, things don’t seem to be fine and we might get frustrated. Jevovah Lord and Christ Jesus have always been my promising friends to stay beside me and guide me what to do whenever frustration appears from things that I don’t do well. That really motivates me to change circumstances and bring in some good changes. If I am feeling low, I indulge in such activities like cycling, swimming, jogging or other physical exercises which keep off the low feelings. All these activities and closeness to my Almighty Father always make me cheerful, profound tranquil and full of energy, no matter how low I was feeling before that.

— Cool Cristofer, Lake Side

They are thorns that make the roses more special. Whenever I am depressed, I always remember the good times, the roses of my life. These moments give me energy to go on and face the problems. When I do that with all positive energy, I always find a way out of my problems. And bad times every time make me stronger than before.

— Tulika MD

Whether we are happy or sad, we need somebody to share our feelings. Unless we share our happiness with someone, it is incomplete and we surely need a shoulder to cry on. It is obvious that all of us go through tough times. We alone cannot break down the wall of obstacles and to do so we all need helping hands. That could be our family or friends or neighbourhood or society. When such time haunts me, I usually consult my family or friends. They have really helped me to get out of it. We must not forget that the essence of being together is to help one another to break down walls of such tough times and live a happy life.

— Santosh Maharjan

In the journey of life there are numerous occasions when I have undergone various difficulties and hardships and they have taught me lessons as to how to make a worthy living even at the time of adversity. I call myself a fortunate person in the sense that I have friends, family and well-wishers who extend support at times of need. I really owe a lot to all my well-wishers and friends for providing their kind support enabling me to cope with adverse situations.

— Ambika Pandey

When nothing goes right and I feel rather low, I remember the happy and successful moments of past. These moments encourage me to work hard and develop a positive attitude to tackle tough times and bring a smile on my face.

— Rachana Bajracharya

Human beings have characteristics of getting overjoyed at good times and getting discouraged and slowing down at hard and bad times. Speaking personally, at such times I try to balance the state of my mind according to the immediate situation. Analysing the nature of problems for further action has also helped me come out of the situation. At time of difficulties, my family members and friends have always helped me a lot. Being optimistic helps as well. I believe that one should remain absolutely positive towards the situation and find out the solution.

— Laxman Adhikari

Life is a journey not a race. Life is tough and tough times always make people emotionally and physically strong. Like the roads even life has many turns. One should not be over excited when he sees easy ways. Good times or bad times they come and go; they are all transitory. So, why should we worry? We don’t have control over the result. What we can do is; we always can try to do better things. I am an optimist with positive thinking and attitude. It is true!! I may sound quite hypothetical rather than practical!! But why don’t you try this and prove me wrong !!

— Suresh Jaiswal

All of us go through tough times. Things don’t always go the way we want them to and we often have to face disappointments in life. Whenever I have to deal with such situations, I always find it best to talk it out with a friend. No one understands us better than our friends do, and it’s them who can come up with best advices and solutions to our problems. Moreover, sharing one’s problems with someone always makes one feel better. Apart from it, listening to some good music during such situations is always relaxing and makes it easier to cope with it.

— Sadichchha Pokharel, Kupondole

I am just in ninth grade but I still know that life is full of ups and downs and sometimes it makes us feel so low that we question our existence. But when I feel bad and feel that there is no one of my own, my friends pop out of nowhere and keep pushing me to go on and never loose hope. That’s why when I feel sad I give a call to my best friends and they give many solutions to my problems and sometimes they solve it for me. Then life suddenly begins to feel so simple.

— Shreya Rai

I deal with such situations by being patient and courageous. At such times, I remember the statement, “We should keep on trying and not lose heart.” I also remember the good times of my life and gain confidence from there. I especially remember, “We must look forward in life whether we have good times or tough times. Sometimes we will have tough times and sometimes we will have good times but we have to move forward in life as life is a long journey.”

— Sushobhit Pokharel

Although, we all know the great fact of life that ups and downs are main part of life but when it happens we easily get depressed. One even starts feeling useless and unlucky. Well, it is easier to say than act. While in my case I also feel very sad, get tense and frustrated. Most of time I ask myself questions like why this is happening to me only, why am I so unlucky. To handle such situations I usually do things which really make me feel relieved like talk as much as I can to my mum and sis, sometimes I do stupid things as well besides that I read Variety and Midway column of The Himalayan Times, start writing, rambling anywhere and finally try to do something useful.

— RT Gurung

Bad times spin around everyone bringing feelings of frustration and isolation. But patience and belief in oneself are the most effective remedies of such times. When nothing seems right and everything strives to bring out the worst of me, the first thing I do is to convince myself, that life gives many things to us both good and bad. The way I become carefree when I’m happy, I must also act confidently and cautiously when it comes to dealing with torturous and frustrating moments. When there’s nothing to give me strength and everything happens to weaken me, I withhold myself with the feeling that my birth is also worth something, and I must give something to this society. I also believe in the saying “What goes around, comes around.” Above all struggle and bad times are what are responsible in bringing out the real self in us. Bad times make us and it is only our strength that makes us easy for us to confront life as it comes.

— Sabina Dhakal

We all wish to have a normal happy life, but life can never be simply ‘easy’, we all have to deal with problems and we go through ups and downs too. But sometimes it gets harder on us when nothing seems to be going right. You get irritated with small things. Basically, at times like this you definitely want to be alone, but being alone is not the solution. The more your stay alone, the more you think, you get more up set. At times, like this I usually call my friends home and we watch movies together, have a little fun or cook read books and talk about what I am feeling and doing all the other fun things one would with friends. Believe me friends can never be boring, they can always make you laugh, and if my friends are not there, I keep myself busy. Besides all that, what’s more important is to understand life is beautiful, if there is sadness then there is happiness too.

— Mira Tamata

Life should have many flavours. Then only there will be fun! If everything is smooth and everybody is smiling all the time, it would be really boring. There comes tough times but, at such times I do not consider myself a failure. Every failure has contributed to my growth, or made me stronger and more centred. Every problem has contributed in a very positive manner somewhere deep inside me. It is very interesting. I look at the situation through a different eye, which helps me get out of such tough times.

— Ambika Yadav