Photographer Skanda Gautam captures the tale of an extraordinary couple in Kathmandu - a testament to the power of devotion and pursuit of happiness
In the heart of Kathmandu, amidst the bustling streets and the weight of their own challenges, live an extraordinary couple - Nanda Sunar and Hom Nath Rai. Their lives intertwined by fate and bound by love is inspiring because of their resilience and unwavering spirit.
Sunar, a vibrant soul now aged 36, ventured to Kathmandu in the year 2016. She dedicated her life to the art of appliqued thangkas, pouring her heart into every delicate stitch. However, her path was not without its hardships.
In her younger years, she found herself caught in the crossfires of Nepal's turbulent democratic movement as part of the Maoist party. During a treacherous night of surveillance, the darkness claimed her footing, and she fell from a great height. The chaos of ongoing riots prevented her from receiving medical treatment for two agonising months. Desperate for help, she made her way to the nearest hospital in India, only to be unjustly arrested by the police and subsequently held in a Nepali jail for three months, deprived of both medical care and medicine. It was a haunting experience that unfolded when she was a mere 15 years old, leaving her wheelchair-bound ever since.
Amidst the darkest of times, love found its way into her life. At Bodhisattvas In Action (BIA), Jorpati her life took a new course, she crossed paths with Rai, a 39-year-old thangka artist who had been wheelchairbound since the age of 15 due to a spinal injury caused by a severe case of typhoid in 1996.
They were kindred spirits confined to their wheelchairs, but their hearts found solace in each other's company. Their journey together began with a blossoming friendship that soon evolved into profound love. Despite the challenges they faced, their commitment to one another never wavered. They forged ahead, hand in hand, weaving a tapestry of love, strength, and resilience.
Together, Sunar and Rai defied societal norms and embarked on the path of marriage. In a simple room, away from judgmental eyes, they exchanged vows in an intimate ceremony, sealing their bond with a sindoor (vermilion powder) ritual. Their love knew no bounds, transcending societal expectations and becoming an example to mankind.
"We might be the first wheelchair-bound couple to be legally married in Nepal," Sunar proudly declared. She was even declared the winner of the Disability Queen in the year 2023.
Their union was blessed with the arrival of their precious child, Kiran. Now a young boy of six, Kiran grew up witnessing his parents' unwavering love and indomitable spirits. Inspired by his father's passion for cricket, Kiran has developed a deep love for the sport himself.
He admires his father's achievements, particularly his recognition as the 'Man of the Match' in an international wheelchair cricket tournament. Together, they have formed an unbreakable bond, filled with pride and mutual admiration.
Life, however, continues to pose its challenges. Gokarna Dhungana, executive director of BIA, an organisation working towards the welfare of differently-abled individuals, shed light on the difficulties faced by this community in Nepal.
Although their organisation provides support and training, limited opportunities hinder the differently-abled from fully embracing their potential. Financial constraints often overshadow their aspirations, leaving them concerned about their son's education once they completed their training.
Amidst the hardships, Sunar and Rai have clung to the hope of a better future. Through their dedication and hard work, they honed their skills in thangka art under the guidance of the BIA.
Their dreams were fuelled by the possibility of becoming experts in thangka art, offering them a chance to earn a more substantial income.
Their days are filled with a delicate work-life balance. Sunar, rising at dawn, attends to household chores, ensuring everything is in order for their day ahead. She lovingly wakes their son at 7:00 am, preparing him for school. Meanwhile, Rai has taken on the responsibility of escorting Kiran to school before they both set off to work at 9:00 am. Together, they work until the evening, pouring their hearts into their craft, and then return home to the warmth of their shared love.
Yet, amidst the triumphs, there were moments that tested their spirits. Sunar vividly recalled the challenging days of her pregnancy when she was unable to perform even the simplest of tasks. She relied on her husband's unconditional love and support to navigate those trying times.
The birth of their son brought a new set of obstacles. Sunar's physical limitations meant she couldn't fulfill the role of a typical mother, unable to comfort, carry, or walk with her child.
The confines of their small room became their sanctuary, where they spent 15 months in seclusion. Their son, accustomed only to their presence, would cry at the sight of unfamiliar faces. The isolation and anxiety took a toll on Sunar's mental health, necessitating professional help and ongoing medical support.
Throughout these trials, Rai stood resolute by Sunar's side. Balancing the responsibilities of work and home, he embraced the role of a nurturing father and husband. To fulfill his duties at home he got up early in the morning, washed their son's clothes, cooked meals, and tended to their needs before setting off to work after their son's birth. Their journey was not without the support of Sunar's mother, who offered assistance during the initial phase of their struggles.
"I love my son," Rai and Sunar fondly expressed. "When he was around three years old, he used to ask me to walk and teach him how to walk. Even now, knowing that we cannot walk, he kneels down and prays to God, asking for our ability to walk again. These days, he has become our pillar of support, helping us around the house and pushing my wheelchair on difficult roads. He is a remarkable and caring young boy."
With tears welling in her eyes, she expressed her gratitude to her father's support and her mother's love, which had been instrumental in sustaining her through the darkest of days.
Society's gaze often carried a mixture of pity and judgement, questioning their decision to marry and have a child. The couple endured the weight of these perceptions, feeling the sting of being treated as somehow lesser in the eyes of others. They longed for acceptance, understanding, and the recognition that they too deserved to be seen and heard.
Life itself has presented them with a myriad of challenges. Public spaces are not designed to accommodate wheelchair users, and even something as simple as boarding a bus becomes an uphill battle, met with resistance from drivers. Despite it all, their hearts yearn for equality, compassion, and the simple gestures of encouragement that could brighten their path.
Looking forward, Sunar hopes that the government recognises the struggles faced by the differently-abled community and extends a helping hand. She emphasised the universality of vulnerability, reminding us all that anyone could find themselves in unfortunate circumstances, urging the government to approach their plight with compassion and respect.
In the end, their lives are defined by simplicity. A life filled with love, laughter, and unwavering determination. They embraced the beauty in their small yet significant existence, finding solace in the bonds they had forged and the triumphs they had achieved together.
May their story inspire us all to embrace our own journeys with resilience, determination, and unwavering love, knowing that together, we can overcome any hurdle that may come our way.
