Take it easy

For years, UNMIN rarely listened to other peace workers, and created a lot of confusion about local peace processes. Now that it is wrapping up, UNMIN is worried about finding jobs for its temporary workers. One option: converting civil affairs offices into supporting units for the US-funded Local Peace Councils, considered by many experts to be a key to maintaining peace and stability. UNMIN’s new motto: “Satisfaction guaranteed, for our staff.”

••••••••

Finally, Kingji seems to have grasped the nitty-gritty of Nepali politics. Shut up. Smile. Unleash the charm offensive.

And surely, the panchabali of The Last Samurai won’t go unnoticed. Even at the eleventh hour, Herr Panch is leaving no stork unconked.

••••••••

TIE Impact: Sources say the Yanks are over the moon at our idea of Narayanhiti for NASA. When completed, Uncle Sam is granting Messrs Kamal Thapa and KP Bhattarai first crack at the launch pad as a reward for their devotion to space exploration.

••••••••

After being sold on ceremonial president, Girija babu has drawn a double-edged sword out of his repertoire, this time in the form of a fresh student movement. In a meeting with students, the Tall One raised their morale by promising reforms and starting afresh by dissolving all committees. This has forced Deuba into a corner. On the other hand, he has asked the students to strengthen their organisation and carry out a series of rallies and meetings opposing Maoist excesses. Would this help the Tall One grab the top job? Maybe, say some soft-spoken Maoist stalwarts.

••••••••

Rajasthan Royals rule the roost at the Indian Premiere League. Closer home, royalty is out of favour. The police on Saturday busted a racket dealing in spurious liquor at Bafal. Their biggest haul: Royal Stag. Talking about cricket, why not start our own federal NPL? Twenty-five teams, no holds barred. The (uber) energetic YCL Yellowcakes will start as favourites, closely followed by Prachanda Ultrareds and Congressi Blues. The dark horse: Janadhikar Torpedos.

••••••••

So the swearing starts May 27. Notwithstanding their prospects of muscle-flexing on the field, the sabhasads are already hitting the gym. Former rebels, ex-convicts, barbarians, freedom fighters, freestylers... Showtime.

••••••••

Eleven days for the the D-Day. Will our Gyani Raja troop out when the CA orders him to?

“No”, says a die-hard royalist, disenchanted by the Divine One’s (in) action. “He could do even without one!”

••••••••

It appears at least a third of Nepali adults are ineligible to enter the US. According to the USA Patriot Act 2001, any individual providing material or financial support to an organisation listed under the Terrorist Exclusion List (TEL) will not be allowed into the US. But lots of Nepalis gave more than money and material support to CPN-M — their votes! Thankfully, we had a secret ballot. That’s just one advantage of true democracy. Are you listening comrades?

••••••••

Zhang Xiangling blew it. His repeated requests to crack down on Tibetans falling on tone-deaf receptors of G-PM, the Chinese envoy angled for media’s attention at the hacks’ club, albeit, we suspect, much was lost in translation (Mandarin-English-Nepangregi). Perhaps Ling should link up with the Stalin durbar. Their lathis flaking, Gandhians are desperately awaiting deployment.