CREDOS : For a change — II

All my life, I never felt that I was good enough. My school performance, as I’ve mentioned, was not very good, and because of that I felt shame. Later on, when I first began working, I told myself that if I received a great deal of professional acclaim, earned a respectable income, or married a beautiful woman, then I would fit in. Yet after I did all of these things, I still felt I didn’t fit. So I worked even harder.

After I broke my neck - when I realised that no matter what, I would never feel like I fit in - I began to watch those people who appeared to fit in, as well as those who didn’t. In my despair and loneliness, like a desperate child looking for his family, I hoped that I wasn’t the only one who experienced life in the way I did.

What I observed was this: Most people appeared to be doing the same thing I had been doing — working terribly hard to become different or better. Like the lesson learned by poor Max the tailor, change is not always good.

Sometimes the greatest change we can make is when we stop trying to change ourselves and accept ourselves are we are. Most humans, I’ve noticed, are trying to figure out what’s wrong and then change it. Whether our goal is to fix what we think needs fixing, to effectively hide our defect, or to finally find security or unconditional love, most of us work very hard to bring about change.

And most of us, when we’re not successful with that effort, do what I did: work even harder. —