MIDWAY: A naive self
I am every bit naive and more so in spite of my adult status. But this does not pose any problem to me. On the contrary what more can one want than to hearken to a childhood full of whims and fancies — one to regale the senses. Were it not for this characteristic with all its nuances then I would, surely, have been lost and nowhere. Being childlike means I can go on marking my life with innocent incidences. One to summon me back when being small mattered and drew undivided attention. In the here and now what matters is my capacity to feel like a child. This could be a brief fling or a longer sojourn without being disappointed at the way things turn out. And I can ascribe my moods to it. Nonetheless, I catch myself wondering if the past has not caught up with me. As such the thought is in itself tempting as this musing is fraught with an uncertainty. But then I ask myself: is not it worth it to be a part of a period where everything was in a state of wonder. True this behoves me to tread on my path without undue attachment. And does justice to my largely unfettered self.
One that beckons me to the unfolding drama of life. I embrace this because only I can achieve parity with a self that is demanding and does not take no for an answer. The thing is I take my naivety for what it is even though I am a grown-up. As far as it is concerned it brings with details too often ignored in the scheme of things. This means that even if there are no elves yet I let my naive self dip, soar and take flight. And while in the midst of reverie I seek refuge in myself. I take a cue from the past and expect something to happen any time. The excitement does not end here for the reason that it is full of a gentle awakening. This is an affirmation of self that counts above everything else.
Having said as much I now can divulge myself and not be taken aback. The child within manifests in more ways than one like when I doodle on a notepad or compose a poem. What matters is that it should be given free creative expression when and where possible. And without any inhibitions. whatsoever. The naive self is rooted in the past when the present is in a state of change. No wonder then it holds such a fascination for me considering my status quo.