Uday Lama

I sit down to write on the theme of the moment whenever I am in a pensive mood. Though, this happens only occasionally and not at the best of times. Giving into this emotion has all the makings of a grand finale for then I can put my thoughts on paper. Not only that it provides a brief escape into the world of words. Being pensive means I can express myself and not be censored in the process. It behoves me to find an angle and give free reins to whatever is plaguing me which is usually an impression. This is gathered in the midst of living and is food for thought. Capturing the image takes little doing and I try not to miss out on the important details.

The mood of the moment hits me and there is nothing to do but give in graciously. It is as if something inside was insisting on being heard. This can take several days and there is no sure-fire antidote except to respond. And usually takes the form of a literary effort. Only when I am pensive does anything happen. It is as if I was pampering myself and luxuriating in the here and now. It is also possible to exercise the mental faculties for the ideas flow freely. When I am finished with a piece of work the pensiveness disappears leaving me bemused. There is no other experience like this and so I have to be prepared the next time it possesses me.

Then I am not stuck for words and I can select those which are expressive. And in a manner of speaking the piece writes by itself. I write down until I am satisfied as to its length and content and the contextual meaning. And then I leave it aside before digging it up again.

Writing is not another chore for me but one full of pleasure even though it exacts its toll - in the way of aching fingers and a tired and benumbed mind. But there is no holding back from starting all over again whenever there is a new topic. Till then I am all agog in anticipation for then I can measure myself anew. A test worthy of myself no less and to which I can only give into. There is no hesitation in succumbing to a gauntlet of sorts and there is no regret whatsoever. Only an awakening of the senses and a fruition of self as if that was all that mattered. And one to cherish after editing, re-writing and polishing the draft until the final touch is given. Seeing whatever I have created in print gives me deep personal satisfaction and pays back many times over what I have put in.