Teenage is the most important but demanding period of one’s life. For most of us, this is the time to build one’s destiny. This period puts heavy burdens on the weak shoulders of 13-year-old kids until they become sturdy 19-year-olds.

Not surprisingly, one is expected to perform well in various fields in this six-year span. This is the time to practice in order to be a rock star, prepare to get into Harvard, have a girlfriend, try the manly stuffs to come of age, be sporty to get into the national cricket team, enjoy smoking, drinking and of course, Conan O’Brien’s favourite of ‘em all — porn!

This is obviously a lot of work to accomplish within a period of six years. We are expected to become all-rounders. So, how to ease the burden so that we become more successful occupies our mind. But I have an idea. Let’s follow the distributive law: do a part of the work before teenage, a part in that period and the rest in the later part of our lives.

Becoming a rock star is no big deal for under-13 kids who are well versed with this calling. So encourage them to jam heavily before they enter teenage. Kids are unable to study calculus at this stage. It’s just too bulky to fit in their craniums. So let the teenagers suffer the Harvard brunt. As regards girlfriends — boys handle them better than teenagers. Having a girlfriend for a long time during teenage would distract them from books. The same goes for porn.

Now, being sporty means delivering more physically. This, sadly, can’t be distributed; a teenager’s body is better suited for this job. To experience the manly stuff, again physical makeup has much to do.

Smoking and drinking are bad, but if one has to enjoy it to the fullest (it’s ill-advised to say so), early age is a better choice. Let’s face it “early smokers (kids) are less likely to be addicted.” Research shows this since kids are emotionally more stable than teenagers, whose minds are a flurry of thoughts.

Alleviation of teenage pressure can be good. Experiencing things early in life is better to ease off the most anxious phase of one’s life to have ample time to face the “Harvard brunt” bravely, after all, that’s the most important thing to say the least.