TOPICS: Reassurance through compliments
Whatever our age or stage, we all adore compliments. When
I told a really senior journalist how I loved reading his witty column, his tone instantly warmed and gladdened and he shared with me a humorous anecdote about how he had got an idea from listening to a politician rambling on and on! I’m positive that as we called off, we were both smiling.
A smile is a curved line that makes all things straight! It sure is. And it begins with a few simple sincere words like, “you have such a beautiful sense of colour” or “you are the best doctor in the world!” Forget fulsome compliment, even an itsy bitsy acknowledgement
can touch a chord. A part of appreciation infuses a lush rosy zeal into
our spirit. There can never be an overdose of appreciation. It’s vital to our growth, our very dignity.Psychologist Tom Crabtree says, “We all need to feel that we are special, unique withsomething. Tell me about my weakness if you will. Don’t forget though to let me know about my strength.” For some unfathomable reason, we don’t seem to have an authentic self-elevating ability in our emotional kit. We need others to constantly motivate us with a kind remark.It’s the law of the universe. You get what you give. If you want attention and appreciation, learn to give attention and appreciation.
When you fill your mind with sweet admiration and pour it on another, you create a divinefield of goodwill all around. And that beautiful fragrant goodwill comes right back to you. Youwill be bouncing cheerily at the end of this simple exercise.
Finally, it’s okay to ask “How am I doing?” as long as the person you ask has the sensitivity to realize that you are seeking assurance, not a critical analysis!
I believe that the great philosopher Ralph Waldo Emerson often chided people for theirreluctance to speak highly of others. Unfortunately, many people become embarrassed and tongue-tied when it come
to giving compliments. When the renowned footballer Pale was asked how he would like to be remembered, he replied, “ I want no roads named after me. All I ask for is a small place in the heart for the people to whom I brought a little cheer.” I think he speaks for all of us.