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KATHMANDU, MAY 23
Golden child syndrome is basically the idea that you should only show love towards your child if it improves or includes their achievement. Why am I picking this topic? Well for one, my parents didn't know how to raise a child well. Actually, they only realised that their way of dealing with achievements was wrong after coming to England.
I'm from Nepal, where "bully culture" is very much there.
People bully anyone and everyone, and they do it subconsciously, too. It's pretty much integrated into their blood. To say, "You can't do basic Pythagoras? I can do it in 15 seconds flat," is okay and is not supposed to make the other person feel bad about it.
This all links back to the golden child syndrome because it's usually the kids who go through it. At first it works out well because every little thing a child does is considered an achievement.
But as the child grows older, the parents expect more, which means less attention is given to them. Of course, this all relates to how severe the syndrome is, whether it's praising the child for doing anything or only praising the child for doing something amazing.
The most horrible experience to go through as a golden child is the disappointment and shock people get from you acting, even slightly, out of bounds.
This singles them out, making them not feel a part of the "normal" group of kids. They also miss out on a lot of key emotions a healthy child must feel: greed, selfishness and jealousy.
Without them, they're raised as an adult, not a child. What this means is that they don't have time to unravel themselves and discover who they are.
So what kind of future do golden kids usually have? In their childhood, they didn't get the amount of attention they needed from their parents from birth up.
After all, their parents cared more about their future career than the child themselves. This can cause the child to feel hollow and incapable of living up to their parent's dreams.
As they grow older, they become more paranoid about what other people think.
Often times, when they have to do anything by themselves without the influence of others, it takes a little longer than it should, especially when making life decisions such as a career.
Overtime, gradually, the child (now adult) realises that life isn't always about a set of golden rules.
They'll finally know what it's like to be free from all the restrictions and pressures they had as a child, and their personality will develop.
So, live your best life now and have fun. Now's the best time to do everything, from studies to hobbies to social life!
A version of this article appears in the print on May 24 2021, of The Himalayan Times.
